


Anarchy on the Air

by RadioActivity



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: BAMF Tamika, Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil is Mostly Human, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot, Strex rebellion, Strexcorp, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, future sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-14 04:46:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1253404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioActivity/pseuds/RadioActivity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cecil loses his job at the radio station due to Strexcorp, he understands that something has to be done. He joins forces with the other people about town he knows are involved with the rebellion, and he finds himself right in the center of the action. But when Carlos is threatened, Cecil realizes he has to really get serious or risk losing both of the most important things in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Voice of Night Vale

“Close your eyes. Listen close to the rapid beating of your own heart in your ears, knowing that it counts down the beats until your mortal demise. 

_**Welcome to Night Vale.** _

_**Good afternoon, listeners. Some truly sorrowful news today. I have just received word that this will be my last show, as your Night Vale radio host. Some of you may recall the recent auction that took place here in Night Vale? … Well, I have received word regarding the owner of Lot 37. It was none other than StrexCorp, the very company who now owns this radio station.** _

_**And they have decided that since they now own the station, as well as myself, they have the right to terminate my contract here at the studio. And they have, forthwith, after only granting me the right to have one last airtime, one last chance to say goodbye to everyone.** _

_**Who will tell all of you about Dana, still wandering aimlessly through the Dog Park? Who will share the honest, only partially biased news regarding Tamika Flynn? Who would replace me in my exit from Night Vale Community Radio?** _

_**It is awful, terrible news. I fear for myself, not knowing how I will support myself. I fear for you, listeners, not knowing what they will have you believing. I fear for all of us, together, here in this small town of Night Vale. I fear for us.** _

_**In other, less sorrowful news, we have received word that the some of the missing children of Night Vale have reappeared, with several extra limbs and appendages they may or may not have had prior to their disappearance. Their eyes are blank, doll like, as though they’ve had portions of their brain physically… removed. To erase all knowledge of some event we can’t comprehend. If you see one of these children, do not speak to them. They will usually pass by without harming you.** _

_**The Sheriff’s Secret Police are urging the parents of these young children to stay calm, to treat them with extra care and kindness, as they may have regressed mentally a bit in their time away, and is likely they now possess no ability to control their own bowels. It is equally likely that they may have difficulty recognizing their family members, or even their own selves. They advise to be gentle with them, but firm, to clean up after them, and under no circumstances, feed them after the hours of 11pm. So, that’s good news, right?... Glad to have those kids back. Now if only… the other children would return to us so safely.** _

_**We break away to a short message from our sponsors.** _

_**Your feet drag slowly along an eternal spanse of dark, dusty highway, the acrid wind blowing harshly into your face. You squint your eyes at it, knowing there is no life, no safety, no shelter on this god forsaken road.** _

_**You feel the sun, hot and heavy on your skin, burning your skin everywhere it touches like the soft caressing fingertips of an intimate lover. You allow it to deconstruct you, taking you apart until you’re wide open and completely vulnerable, until it bakes all of the moisture out of your well loved and well caressed body.** _

_**Hostess. We love you even when you don’t love yourself.** _

_**The City Council requested that I remind you that the ban on Wheat and Wheat By-Products is still in effect, so any attempt to purchase a Hostess product will result in being placed in quarantine. They’re quite sorry about that. The Sheriff’s Secret Police member who spoke to us chimed in, adding, “My hands are tied. No, I mean literally. Can you untie me?”** _

_**… You know, I’m just really tweaked at the turn of events here, listeners. You work somewhere for years, dedicate your life to your job, and then one day you wake up to find out that some oppressive big-corporation overlord buys you and the station you work at, and then suddenly your job is gone. You end up replaced by some younger, newer model of yourself who is a slave to the big-co--------------------------------… and you become reminded of the fleeting brevity of life itself.** _

_**What we have right here, right now, it’s so temporary, so fleeting, that often, we’re left wondering if we ever had it here at all. Well, I will not become that! I will not be left holding the empty bag here, listeners. I have dedicated my life to being on the radio and… and they just…** _

_**Um… Ugh. I just… let’s see… In the community calendar, we have Night Vale elementary school’s bake sale and fundraiser! Make sure to stop by for gluten-free cakes, pies, and anything you can think of! If you can think of it, they probably have it! Even though there are no students left in the school, they still need that all-important funding.** _

_**And you know, if you DON’T stop by and buy a gluten-free cake, what does that say about us, Night Vale? That we don’t care about the future of our youth? Whenever they return, that is. Our youth need a safe, secure shelter to huddle in during great tragedies, whenever they return. Where else would they go, if not school? Certainly not home, with the gigantic monsters with multiple rows of teeth hiding under their bed. No, the children of Night Vale, whenever they return, they need our support. And you’re selfish if you don’t support our future.** _

_**Remember, Night Vale, that next week we have another holiday. It’s the all-important West Day, and it’s the only holiday I personally enjoy, but I probably won’t this time, considering I will be unemployed. Remember to stock up on rice and blood transfusion bags, Night Vale. Last year we were just a bit short.** _

_**In other news, the other day at the grocery store, looking for a space, I was cut off and had my parking space stolen by Steve Carlsburg. If you can hear this, Steve, just know that I am planning my revenge, and it will involve a bucket of small animals, and a toaster. You’d better be ready, STEVE CARLSBURG.** _

Cecil continued talking until his radio segment ended, only pausing to put on the Weather. At the very end, he took a deep breath. 

_**Night Vale… I regret to repeat again that this will be my very last ever broadcast as the announcer for the Night Vale Community Radio Station. We sometimes take for granted what we have… we let time slip away from us… We forget that we’re just tentatively clinging to the things in our lives that keep us tethered down, and when they’re over, we realize exactly how good we had things. Exactly how wonderful things were. We know, and we lament, and wish we had appreciated more. But we can never get those things back, not now, not ever.** _

_**And now… I dutifully gather my things, to leave the studio. To go to someone whom may be possibly the only person in the world who could calm me down in the face of this great, overwhelming tragedy. I wish you, with a heavy heart, and weak, trembling lips, I wish you, all of you, a lovely, wonderful good night.** _

_**Good night, for the last time, listeners. Good night, Night Vale. Good night.** _

Cecil flicked the switch, turning the broadcast off. He slumped down in his chair, closing his eyes, all three of them, tilting his face upwards at the ceiling. He slowly rose to his feet, gathering his things in a box. 

“Good job, Cecil,” one of the new interns chirped at him. “It’s a shame you’re leaving.” Cecil made no attempt to answer him, just finished gathering his things and left the radio station, placing the box in his car. 

_I suppose it could be worse,_ Cecil thought. He climbed in the car, driving to Carlos’ lab, heading up the steps knocking on the door, three times in quick succession. One of the members of the Sheriff’s Secret Police was kneeling in the bush, staring in the front facing window. “Good evening, officer.” 

“Good evening, Cecil,” the officer intoned. “Shame about your show.” 

Cecil didn’t realize he was shaking. “Y-yes. Yes it is. Thank you for your concern.” The door opened, and his Carlos, perfectly imperfect, strong, dark-skinned Carlos and Cecil let out a choking sob, falling into him, wrapping his arms around him, hands gripping at Carlos’s white, pristine lab coat. Carlos helped him inside, shutting the door behind them. 

The radio was still playing in the background, white noise crackling on the dead air of the lab, scientists running around the next room, talking amongst themselves. Carlos walked Cecil, still crying, over to the couch, that uncomfortable bulky square couch Carlos had bought upon arriving in Night Vale. It was possibly the most uncomfortable couch Carlos had ever had. In fact, Carlos wasn’t even sure it really was a couch. He sat Cecil down on it anyway. “I heard your show.” was all Carlos could say. 

“Wh-what do I do?” Cecil whispered. “They’re going to fill my listeners heads with StrexCorp propaganda and… They fired me because they couldn’t control what I was going to say on the air. I know it, Carlos.”

“Um… give me a few minutes. I’m going to tell everyone to go home.” Carlos looked over his shoulder before giving Cecil’s hand a light squeeze. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay,” Cecil responded, his voice hollowly ringing in the room. He squeezed Carlos’ hand back before Carlos left him, heading into the other room. Cecil had no idea what he’d said to them, he hadn’t been listening. But they all left regardless, and soon Carlos returned, taking a seat next to him on the maybe-couch. 

“Don’t worry, Cecil. It’s not the end of the world,” Carlos tried to assure but Cecil shook his head, pressing his lips together tightly, much like a child. 

“It could be,” Cecil managed, teary-eyed. “Carlos, I just don’t know…” 

Carlos pulled him tight, wrapping his arms around Cecil, holding him. Cecil slumped against him, burying his face in that perfect shoulder, his hands clenching in the fabric of the other man’s lab coat. Carlos would suggest that Cecil get a job outside of Night Vale, but Cecil’s third eye would make that impossible. Carlos had a decent idea how Cecil felt. 

“Why didn’t I just raise my paddle?” Cecil whispered. 

“Cecil, it wouldn’t have mattered.” Carlos looked down at him. “If Strex fired you to keep you hush, they would have outbid you, a thousand times.”

“Carlos, they took my life away.” Cecil managed, his voice dull. “I can’t just sit by and let them-” 

Carlos suddenly tilted Cecil’s head up, looking down into his eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid, Cecil Palmer.” Cecil shivered lightly at the intensity of Carlos’ words, mixed with his perfect eyes fixed on him, tears filling Cecil’s eyes. Carlos pulled him close, pressing his lips against Cecil’s gently. Cecil wrapped his arms around Carlos’ neck, holding tight to him for comfort. “Now. I can put on a movie, and I’ll make us some dinner, if you want.” 

Cecil nodded, smiling a bit. “Neat.” Inwardly, he was still really upset. But he knew that whatever he decided to do from here, he couldn’t tell Carlos what he was planning. 

Carlos smiled back, his amusement with the statement showing in his eyes. “Neat,” he repeated, teasingly. “I’ll be back.” He left and went into the back of the building. 

Cecil stared up at the ceiling, closing two of his eyes and concentrating on his third eye. The world opened up to him, and he could see. He looked out over Night Vale, silently reflecting on his lost job and what would happen to the city without him. 

Carlos was shaking him and Cecil shook his head, opening his other eyes. “Sorry!” Cecil scrambled to sit up, knotting his fists in his lap. “I must have fallen asleep.”

“Your eye was glowing,” Carlos said, curiously. 

“Oh, was it?” Cecil reached up to it gently, sounding innocent for all the world. “I’m sorry about that.”

Carlos reached up, running his finger across Cecil’s forehead above the eye, curiously. He had a lot of questions about it, but he elected to keep silent about them. Those were questions best saved for another day. “Dinner’s ready. Come on.” Carlos helped him to his feet, pulling him towards him. He kissed him again, gently, his eyes sliding over to meet the eyes of the Sheriff’s Secret Police sitting outside his window.

Cecil followed him into the main lab area, which looked like it was actually a kitchen, but had been repurposed. Carlos had moved some of the lab equipment over, making space for two chairs at the end of the table, and there were two plates with food on them. For Night Vale, the food seemed to be startlingly normal. “Oh, Carlos! This is so romantic,” Cecil gushed, giving his boyfriend a smile. Cecil seemed to be repressing his emotions over what had happened at the station. He was alright, for now. 

Carlos stuck his hands in his coat pocket, awkwardly. “Uh well… I’m glad you think so.” His veiled tone implied that he didn’t understand why Cecil was so excited, but they took their seats, which promptly hissed loudly and began shaking as they sat on them. Carlos glanced up at the sky through the window, noticing that it was a mottled grey-green, a phenomenon Carlos had spent hours studying. “Um, so-”

“Uh, so-” 

The both stopped and laughed a bit, before Carlos urged Cecil to say what he was going to say. Cecil sighed. “Oh. I was just going to say, make sure you tape your windows really well tomorrow, using the special tape they carry at Big Rico’s. I- I mean, I don’t know. You’ll probably hear about… uh. You’ll probably hear about it on the… Radio. But uh… there’s a big… atomic… cloud. Disintegration dust… Don’t leave the shelter of wherever you’re staying after 6pm. It’ll eat through a good millimeter of everything it touches. Which isn’t bad if you’re talking windows, wood, and assorted, but skin is a whole different matter…” 

Carlos was silent a few moments. “Would you help me with it? Come over about 4 and we’ll tape everything up here?” 

“... but I wouldn’t be able to leave in time to make it home before the storm,” Cecil replied, confused. Carlos took a bite of his food he’d made, staring at Cecil. “... Oh. Oh! Well, uh, okay!” Cecil brightened. “Yeah. I could do that. That sounds swell!” 

Carlos chuckled at Cecil’s terminology, beginning to eat again. “... I like when we stay in,” he spoke up. “Fewer weird occurrences seem to happen in my home, than on the streets. I’m sure there’s a reason for it…” 

Cecil looked across the table, taking a bite of his food. He spotted an ink pen lying on the table in almost plain sight. “Carlos, is that...?” A light blush spread across his cheeks as he studied the pen on the table.

Carlos stiffened, uncomfortably. “Um… Cecil, do you have any idea how hard it is to write a ten page report with a paintbrush and food coloring?” 

“Yes! Well, no, not that… detailed,” Cecil hesitated. “I mean, I’ve had to write things before, usually short notes and it was always a little difficult…” 

“Since I’m a scientist, and I have special license to be here, I can use… those…” Carlos hoped they couldn’t hear. Cecil blushed. “Be-besides. The townspeople get away with a few things they shouldn’t from time and again. And now that you’re not the Voice of Night Vale anymore, YOU could probably- oh. No, wait, Cecil, that’s not what I meant-” 

Cecil’s face had gone slack, and Carlos could have kicked himself. Cecil was staring blankly at him, before tears welled up in his dark eyes. “Ce-cecil, I didn’t mean… I meant to-” 

“No… it’s okay. I know you meant it. It’s true.” Cecil whispered, poking at his food with a fork. 

Carlos stood up, pushing his hissing chair back as he strolled over to Cecil, wrapping his arms around the upset ex-radio host. “I’m sorry, Cecil.” 

Cecil dropped his fork with a clatter, turning to face Carlos, wrapping his arms around him again. Cecil buried his face in Carlos’ shoulder, closing his eyes. Cecil mentally reflected on things. His perfect Carlos, HIS Night Vale, and Cecil had no problems thinking of Night Vale as his. Exactly as Carlos had said it, Cecil was the Voice of Night Vale. He was the one they all looked up to, they all listened to eagerly, he knew everyone in town and what was going on in the town at all times. His gift of clairvoyance ensured that. Cecil could hear the walls starting to drip blood, and Carlos looked over at them. Neither of them mentioned it because it was a Thursday, and that sort of thing just happened on Thursdays. “It’s okay.” Cecil looked over towards the wall. “I’m going to go-” 

Carlos tilted Cecil’s head up, kissing him again, letting his tongue probe Cecil’s mouth, doing anything he could think of to try to make the ex-radio host feel better. As Carlos pulled away, Cecil sighed, running his hands along Carlos’s dark skin. “Let’s watch that movie you like,” Carlos looked into his eyes. 

Cecil’s stomach twisted in knots. “The one about the puppies?” 

Carlos smiled, inwardly suppressing his chuckle. “Sure, the one about the puppies.” 

They headed through the living room, and Cecil looked at the maybe-couch. “I never understood why you have one of these, Carlos…” 

Carlos looked down at the maybe-couch. “... Isn’t it a couch?” Cecil burst into laughter, pressing his free hand against his mouth in order to stop his laughing. _Guess not… What is it then?_ They headed upstairs. The whole bottom floor was the laboratory, Carlos had moved into the upstairs so that he was never too far away from the experiments, and due to Night Vale’s unusual weather and various problems, it was likely he wouldn’t make it to the lab as often as he needed to. They went into Carlos’ bedroom, turning the TV on. “... Should I… get rid of that… not couch?” Carlos questioned. “Will it… kill me?” He questioned, awkwardly.

“Oh no. It’s a couch.” Cecil looked confused. “Aside from when it’s giving birth to its annual litter of tv remotes, it’s not usually violent. It’s just the worst brand of couch in Night Vale.”

Carlos decided to leave that for another day, turning the Netflix to that puppy movie Cecil liked watching. He wrapped his arms around Cecil, holding him. He looked over at Cecil, thinking. Cecil looked over at him and he made a small sound of excitement when Carlos kissed him again. Cecil turned to face him, and the affectionate kisses deepened, becoming something more serious. Cecil slid sideways, until Carlos was over top of him, his hands on either side of Cecil’s face.

Cecil’s voice filled the air suddenly, speaking the words sadly as though he were hollow. “We don’t have the permits,” 

Carlos frowned at him. “What? For what?” 

“For what...” Cecil paused, looking away. “For what we… were… thinking.” 

Carlos made a small sound. “There are permits you have to get for this?”

“The permits usually take one to three weeks to receive once they’ve been filed.” Cecil looked up at him. 

“But I’m not a Night Vale citizen.” Carlos was puzzled. 

“I am and so I have to fill the permits out.” Cecil said, sighing. “Sorry, Carlos.” 

“... How far can we go without the permits?” Carlos questioned. 

Cecil blushed bright red. “Carlos!... I… I don’t know, I’ve never tried!” 

Carlos reached for his laptop, opening it up. As of this moment, it was as much his curiosity as for any real purpose. Cecil covered his face with his hands, embarrassedly looking away. “I… it’s not that I… don’t… want to,” Cecil said, embarrassed. “But I don’t want to get in trouble…” 

Carlos set the laptop aside, deep in thought. He was fortunate enough to have a lesser sex drive than other people. It allowed him to concentrate better in the lab at certain times. But Cecil definitely didn't have that, from some of his lurid sexual statements he made on the air. If it was what Cecil wanted, then Carlos wanted it for Cecil. It wasn't like he didn't want it, it just didn't cross his mind as often as it did someone else's. He wrapped his arms around Cecil. “Well, that’s alright.” He lowered his head to Cecil’s ear. “I love you.” 

He could almost see Cecil overheating, as the color rushed to his face, seeming to open and close his mouth a little too wide each time. “I- I … I love you! Too! I…” Carlos shut him up by placing his mouth over Cecil’s, kissing him again. Cecil gasped, blushing, looking away from him. “C-carlos, we can’t, it’s not… it’s not approved!” he said, in a tone that he clearly found the whole thing that much sexier because it wasn’t. The crimson blush was pooling in his cheeks and he was out of breath.

“We don’t have to,” Carlos repeated. “We can stop whenever you want.” 

Cecil clung to Carlos, holding him against him, but nothing else. It was apparent that Cecil knew what he wanted, and what he wanted to do, but his duty to the town as a law-abiding citizen kept him frozen from trying anything risky. 

“Tomorrow I’ll go put in the paperwork,” Cecil whispered. “I would have done it already…” he blushed even brighter red. “But I… I didn’t know if you… um, if you were interested, you never seemed… before.”

Carlos held him close, letting Cecil know that he cared without saying anything else. Cecil snuggled against him, trying to forget everything that had happened that day. After the movie ended, he kissed Carlos goodbye, a slow, passionate kiss, before Cecil slipped out the door. He walked down the steps to his car, the cold breeze blowing across his skin. Cecil settled back into the seat, starting his car. 

He began driving home, the long way. A large portion of the short way home had disappeared without a trace, leaving nothing but a 50-foot deep gash in the earth where the missing landscape had been. _I need to file the end-of-date report first thing tomorrow... And,_ Cecil thought, grimly, turning his car around and beginning to drive the long way. _I need to find out who my replacement is. I need to meet them. I can’t see them, see what they’re doing until I meet them._ He drove for home, kicking his shoes off in his apartment, heading straight to bed. _If they think they can just get rid of me so easily… they’re wrong. I will not be taken down._

The dark and terrifying world of his nightmares yanked him inside the moment he lay his head down on the pillow. Even though tonight was a night for shared nightmares, Cecil was fortunate not to remember it once he’d woken up.


	2. Dust Storm

Running a little late, he just managed to pull into the station at 4pm. He knew he’d be a little late to Carlos’ but that would be okay. Sacrificing the farm animals on the altar as part of his paperwork for his permission form had taken longer than Cecil had expected, but he was almost done with what he needed to do. Cecil put on a big, fake smile as he headed up the steps to the radio station. He was going to walk into that station with a smile, a bright sunshiny smile, and he was going to tell them he’d forgotten to take something important from the studio… He pushed the doors open and walked to the reception desk.

The receptionist refused to let him in. He got into a rather lengthy argument with her before she disappeared. Cecil looked around for her but he just shrugged his slender shoulders and looked around but he stopped short, staring into the lobby. 

A half-choked sound burst from his mouth. “C-carlos? What are you do-” the words died on his lips when the person turned to look at him. The figure was tall, with dark skin and that perfect, beautiful hair… and those perfect, beautiful eyes… and those beautiful white teeth. He looked like his Carlos but Cecil could tell he wasn’t. “Oh. I...’m… Sorry.” Cecil pushed his lips together. “I’m so sorry about that, I must have mistaken you for someone else.” 

“Ah? Oh, don’t worry yourself about that,” Not-Carlos flashed a brilliant, perfect, but unsettling grin in Cecil’s direction. “You must be Cecil Palmer. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Diego.” Not-Carlos- er, Diego, offered his hand to Cecil. Cecil took in the man’s long, pristine white lab coat, not unlike Carlos’... and the man’s nametag. StrexCorp Synernists, Inc., Diego. Cecil reached out hesitantly to shake his hand, and in the background, he heard someone shouting QUITE loudly. Both Diego and Cecil turned to face the out of breath figure who’d just arrived. 

“A-ah… Di-Diego. Sorry,” the man breathed. He looked up. “One of the interns -such a super sweet girl, that Jennifer- was giving me the most THOROUGH tour of the station… Uh? Oh. Who is…”

Both Cecil and the newcomer stared blankly at each other before the newcomer broke into a bright, ear-to-ear, menacing smile that wavered Cecil to his core. “Oh gosh! If it isn’t my lovely lovely double!”

“Kevin,” Diego said, in a quiet voice. “This is Cecil Palmer, the previous host of the show here…” 

“Oh wow! It is such a pleasure to meet you, formally Cecil Palmer! It’s such a lovely, lovely, beautiful night here in Night Vale, isn’t it?” Kevin chirped, in that lovely demonic voice of his. “Wow! So much more peaceful and calm and tranquil than it seems to be in Desert Bluffs at this time, right, Diego? Night Vale is such a beautiful lovely little town, I just can’t wait to settle in and become acquainted! I am, after all, the new Voice of Night Vale… AND Desert Bluffs, so I’ll have to take a lot of time getting to know allllll the citizens!” He giggled, reaching over and grabbing Diego’s hand, lacing his fingers in his. 

_I should have killed him then, in that vortex,_ Cecil thought, his monstrous thoughts clear as a bell. “I…” It was almost too much for Cecil. The sight of Kevin and Diego holding hands, from Desert Bluffs, looking monstrously like himself and Carlos, Kevin smiling that wicked, evil smile, standing in his studio, taking his job… 

“Kevin,” Diego said, in a low voice. 

“Hmmm?” Kevin gave Diego his radiant, ominous smile. 

“You’d better get moving. You have a lot to do today before the first radio show.” Diego stared at him. 

Kevin hesitated, biting his lip. “But, um, Diego… I…” he looked up the hall, before looking back at Diego. Clearly he wanted to spend more time with HIS beloved scientist. 

“Go,” the StrexCorp scientist ordered, his voice cold. Kevin whined lightly but headed up the hall to get some work done. Diego turned to face Cecil, once Kevin was gone from sight. “I’m sorry about that, Cecil Palmer… Kevin can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. He usually doesn’t think about what he says when he says it.” Diego held something out to Cecil. 

Cecil took it gingerly. A business card, reading StrexCorp Synernists Inc, Diego. A cell number was typed neatly on the business card, along with an email. Color flushed to Cecil’s cheeks, offended. _Did he give me his private phone number?_

“My business card. I’m assigned to keeping an eye on Kevin while he’s here, ensuring he doesn’t cause too much trouble…” Diego looked up at Cecil. “So I’ll be here quite often. Call me if you have any questions, or if you need to meet up for any reason.” 

Cecil’s jaw tightened. Staring down at the business card, the dry, papery weight of it in his hand, he slumped to the ground and all was dark. When Cecil opened his eyes, he was on a couch in the station’s lobby, Diego sitting in front of him, his fingers laced together, hands in his lap, calmly waiting for Cecil to awaken. 

Cecil suddenly scrambled for his watch, staring at it. 6:15. He immediately grabbed his phone, sitting up and calling Carlos. _What happened? How did that happen? I don't... I passed out? For some reason?_ Carlos answered midway through the second ring, as though he were waiting by the phone for Cecil’s call. “Carlos? Carlos I’m so sorry! Did you get your windows taped up?” he bit his lip.

“At five, I assumed you were going to be late and got started. I managed to finish a few minutes before six. Where are you? You usually call when something comes up.” Carlos said, sounding a little distracted. 

“Oh, I’m…” Cecil looked around, meeting Diego’s uncomforting and darkened eyes. Diego was studying him with an intense stare. “I’m at… home.” The last word was low. Cecil couldn’t believe he was lying to Carlos, but he had to protect him. “I didn’t sleep very well so I lay down for a nap and time got away from me. Sorry.” Cecil flinched visibly at the dark smirk that spread across Diego’s face, that smirk causing Cecil to writhe internally, bile rising in his throat. It was better Carlos not know Cecil was at the station. 

“I see,” Carlos murmured. “That’s okay. I understand.” 

Cecil felt like he was literally shattering from the pressured weight of Carlos’ words. “I… I’m sorry, Carlos, I really, really am…” 

“Cecil. It’s okay.” Carlos sounded less distracted all at once, his focus suddenly on Cecil. “I’ve done this to you a few times, so really, it’s okay. I promise. Plus, the samples I’ve taken from that couch are fascinating, and I believe I’ll end up taking a fair amount of time studying them.”

Cecil could feel a weight being lifted off his chest, and he took a deep breath. He could hear the soft scratching of pen to paper and he blushed. “Carlos, I… went to town hall today.” 

“Oh, you did?” Carlos murmured. Cecil imagined he was looking down the length of a microscope, or doing some other science-like activity. 

“Yeah. I submitted those forms…” Cecil said, smiling to himself. 

“Oh? … Oh. Those.” Carlos seemed like he was paying more attention now again. “Great. So do you just wait for those to arrive in the mail or something?” 

“Yeah,” Cecil said, brightly. “Then you show them to your Sheriff’s Secret Police member. Then you’re all set. Until you have to renew in six months.” 

“You have to renew it every six months?” Carlos asked, his tone a bit dry. 

“Ugh. Of course you do, Carlos. What if the relationship doesn’t last that long? Then you’re stuck with a binding contract for life to- … uh,” Cecil was being unnerved by Diego’s staring at him. He turned away from him, facing the front desk. “For life to someone you’re not with anymore,” he said, lamely. 

“Oh, so, when you filled that thing out, … wait. Hold on. I… you have to fill that thing out which says WHO you’re being with, and it’s basically a six month…” 

Cecil could hear the annoyed confusion in his voice. “Of course I had to put your name on it!” Cecil whined. “This is a very serious thing in Night Vale! People don’t enter into this sort of thing lightly.” Why isn’t he going away? Cecil thought, noticing Diego out of the corner of his eye.

“It’s not a game to me either, it’s just that- … Look, never mind. I understand. Sort of. Cecil, this sample is giving me some really interesting readings. I need to give it my full attention…” 

“W-wait! Carlos.” Cecil scrambled, trying to dig for something to say. He couldn’t let Carlos hang up and leave him alone - sort of - with Diego. “Carlos I- uh-” 

“Good night, Cecil. I love you.” 

Cecil turned bright red, stuttering out a good night, followed by an I love you, before hanging up. Cecil sat in shamed silence, not looking at Diego. 

“... So even the great Cecil Palmer tells lies.” Diego murmured. “Such an odd thing to lie about.” 

Cecil got to his feet, walking over to the the windows, watching the dust settle onto the surface of everything, a very, very light dusting. Cecil wondered if it would be worth it to run out into it. It would only take a little skin off. 

“Did you lie because I was here?” Diego questioned. 

Cecil recoiled, hunching over the windowsill, shaking in either fear or disgust. Cecil didn’t know which. “No!”

“Or did you lie because you didn’t really come here to pick up something you left?” Diego’s words hung in the air, a loud, physical punch to Cecil’s self-confidence, that this man, this not-Carlos could figure him out so easily. Surely he and that radio host could not be human, must not be. Must be some type of demon or monster. “Ah…” Diego smirked, and Cecil could hear it in his voice. That disgustingly not-Carlos’s-voice. That damnable smirk. “Then. If you didn’t come here to pick something up, why ARE you here?” 

Cecil was shaking slightly, leaning on the windowsill. He was trapped there, at the station, with Diego, not at all unlike a caged animal. Cecil suddenly startled, obviously, visibly, when he felt someone at his back, too close, leaning towards him, their hands on the windowsill on either side of him. 

“You’re remarkably too much like Kevin.” Diego went on. “The perfect Night Vale citizen, as he is the perfect Desert Bluffs citizen… I would enjoy breaking you down, tearing you apart in the name of science, studying every aspect and element that goes on in the head of the most average Night Vale citizen…” 

Cecil was closing his eyes too tightly, thinking too hard about Carlos, his perfect Carlos with the perfect hair and the perfect eyes and why didn’t Diego back off? He thought about Carlos and the paperwork he’d filled out that day. He thought about anything that wasn’t Diego too close to him, freaking Cecil out, down to his core. This man was a true demon. “Get away from me,” Cecil demanded. “You vile Desert Bluffs demon,” He honestly didn’t know what to say to him. 

“Diego~? Diego, where are-” Kevin’s voice rang out, before there was a silence. 

Diego turned away from Cecil, spotting a stunned Kevin in the entrance to the hall. In smooth, easy steps, Diego crossed the space, pulling Kevin towards him, brushing some hair out of his face. “Mm? What is it, Kevin? Shouldn’t you be recording?” 

Kevin’s eyes looked back and forth from Cecil to Diego. Cecil was already headed to the bathroom, looking rattled, his expression a bit scared. Kevin looked back at Diego again. “Oh I… um, it’s… the weather, so I thought… I thought I’d ask you how I was doing, but you weren’t listening.” 

“Kevin, you always do a wonderful job-” 

The door to the bathroom swung shut and Cecil was in the bathroom, in the blissful silence. He shut the bathroom door, leaning against the stall wall, closing his eyes. He wanted to talk to Carlos terribly, but he didn’t know what to do. He ended up not calling him, sitting in the bathroom stall, closing his eyes. He opened his third eye, wide to the world, soaking in the events that were going on around town. No one had heard about old woman Josie since the yellow helicopters had come for her. Since StrexCorp had come for her. He focused his eye, somewhat lazily, on the other people around town, thinking absently about the other townsfolk, wondering who he could and should talk to first. 

The answer, Cecil discovered, utterly disgusted and enraged him. StrexCorp had been systematic and thorough in stomping out anyone who posed them any troubles. Tamika Flynn, so far, and her army were the only ones who were successfully giving any opposition… and Cecil had never met her, so he couldn’t locate her. Old woman Josie had been gone a long time. There was one other person who could help. Larry Leroy on the edge of town. Cecil was sure he still had his number. He flipped through his phone and located his number, sending a text. **I’m not texting for personal reasons,** he typed, remembering how coldly effective that was when Carlos did it. **But I need to speak with you regarding something rather important, Larry. Do you have any free time tomorrow? This is Cecil Palmer.**

It was a while before he got a response. **Real shame you were removed off the radio. Free tomorrow. You’ve helped me enough. What time?**

Cecil thought a moment, before texting back. **Are you free at 3pm?**

**Show’s on, but I guess I can DVR it.**

**Thanks, Larry.**

Cecil leaned his head against the stall wall, closing his eyes. **Carlos, what are you doing now?** Cecil wondered. He bit his lip. He’d promised Carlos he wouldn’t look in on him without warning… He closed his two eyes and opened his third, deciding to take a quick peek. 

Carlos was sitting at his work table, peering in the microscope, taking down notes with an ink pen in his other hand, not even needing to look to see what he was writing. Cecil bit his lip extra hard, thinking about Carlos’ flagrant rule breaking since he’d come to Night Vale. Obviously Carlos wasn’t entirely bound to all the same laws as regular Night Vale citizens, which meant the Sheriff’s Secret Police needed to keep that much closer an eye on him… but all the same, Cecil loved to see Carlos doing things like that. He blushed crimson when Carlos consulted a book to his left, one Cecil was sure wasn’t municipally approved either. A tiny sexy whimper slipped out of him, causing Cecil to cover his mouth. No one was in the bathroom, so Cecil was less embarrassed than he would have been. 

Carlos suddenly looked up, frowning. He looked around, an odd look on his face. Cecil realized Carlos could sense his presence there somehow. Cecil shot him a text. **Sorry. Just me. I miss you.**

He saw Carlos jump at his phone go off, before picking it up and looking at it. He seemed comforted by the fact that it was Cecil. **What are you thinking about?**

Cecil turned bright crimson red, backing out of the vision he had of Carlos, closing his third eye and putting it away. **That I miss you.** Cecil decided was safe enough to send. 

**Yeah I felt that.** Carlos sent back.

Cecil’s eyes widened, sending a quick good night text, his face crimson. Carlos’ reply, **I was worried it was some seductive ghost, planning on molesting me in my sleep.**

Cecil chuckled softly. **Not for another couple weeks!** As soon as the message sent, he was mortified. **I mean, you know. Provided you’re willing and I’m staying over and all of that.**

He could imagine Carlos’ eyeroll, that beautiful, graceful, perfect tilt to his boyfriend’s head, maybe imagining him tapping his pen against his forehead, thinking deeply to himself, trying to think of how to respond to Cecil. Cecil almost overflowed with excited energy. **Ah! beautiful, perfect, wonderful Carlos! <3 ** Cecil couldn’t help but send, blushing intensely. 

Carlos seemed to sigh at that, his response was a little guarded. I’m not perfect, Cecil. 

**Perfectly imperfect <3 ** Cecil replied back. 

Cecil waited a few moments for a reply. Finally, his phone buzzed. **You’re perfect.** Cecil’s heart started pounding, stupidly excited and unbearably embarrassed. **Good night.**

Cecil’s heart pounded and he found it hard to breathe at those simple words. He fell over, kicking his feet in joy, so embarrassed he couldn’t sit still. _I could just spontaneously COMBUST right now from the happiness._ Until he remembered where he was. Sitting on the floor of the station bathroom, trapped there all night with his evil, twisted body double and the body double of his perfect Carlos… Cecil took air in and out of his lungs before willing himself to leave the bathroom.

“But Diego, only a little bit!” Kevin was whining, a long, curved blade in his hand. Cecil stopped short, staring stupidly. “Please, just a few, please…” 

“Kevin, that’s not how things are done in Night Vale,” Diego was saying, his fingers wrapped around the wrist that was holding the knife, stopping Kevin from whatever he was planning. 

“But Diego, no one is around and I LOVE you!” Kevin begged, slowly lowering down until he was collapsed on his knees. “Please, Diego, please,” he covered his mouth. “Please. I couldn’t… you were… you and him, you were being intimate, or you were thinking about it… and-” there were tears in his eyes. 

Cecil was disgusted by the sight, but the dust was still falling, and he couldn’t leave. “Kevin, get UP,” Diego growled. “This is Night Vale!” He looked up and he spotted Cecil, quirking an eyebrow at him. “In Night Vale, you have to blend in, get UP,” he reached down and yanked Kevin to his feet. “You’re lucky no one saw this except Cecil.” 

Kevin half gasped, turning to look, the tears in his face. “YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM!” Kevin yelled. 

Diego clapped a hand over Kevin’s mouth. “Sh! Shut up,” he hissed in Kevin’s ear. He looked around, before looking at the bathroom door behind Cecil. Diego dragged Kevin in there, pushing Cecil aside, the knife still clutched in Diego’s hand. 

Cecil’s chest was pounding, and he was clutching his phone. _Desert Bluffs! Sick freaks… what are they doing with that knife?_

Cecil crossed over to the couch, holding his phone against his chest, closing his eyes. _Carlos, Carlos, beautiful, sweet, perfect SCIENTIST Carlos, so perfect and so perfectly imperfect… Carlos, my boyfriend who doesn’t take knives with him to intimate encounters, and we just snuggle on the couch and watch TV and eat food together and I want to be there with him right now…_


	3. Out of Love

When Cecil awoke the next morning, the sun was shining, birds were chirping, people were dancing happily in the streets, happy to be alive. Cecil looked around and rushed out the doors, heading out to his car. He climbed into his car, kicking it on. He stiffened awkwardly, spotting something under the windshield wiper. He climbed out, reaching for it. There it was again, that business card with Diego’s cellphone number. Cecil stiffened like a cat that had ice water poured down his back and he crumpled it in one hand, sliding into his car, flinging it down into the floorboard. 

He drove straight to Carlos’ walking up the steps and knocking on the door. Carlos opened the door, his labcoat looking wrinkled and dirty, his hair looking a little wild. “Mm? Cecil, it’s 6 am?” Carlos murmured. 

Cecil stared at him, mouth agape, never having seen Carlos looking like that, except after the incident at the bowling alley. “Oh! I… um, I… woke you, didn’t I?” Cecil bit his lip, his fingers sliding across his lips, staring at Carlos’ mussed hair and coat. “I’m sorry, I’ll go home…” Cecil was already turned around to leave, but Carlos reached out, grabbing the back of Cecil’s vest. 

Cecil squeaked as Carlos pulled him inside, shutting the door. He led him upstairs, before removing his lab coat and climbing into bed. Cecil could tell Carlos hadn’t been sleeping in the bed, because it had been neatly made before Carlos climbed in it. 

Cecil hesitated, biting his lip, before climbing in the sheets next to Carlos, slipping up against him, becoming the little spoon, blushing deeply. Carlos moved his arm over him, closing his eyes. Cecil thought about how Carlos had been studying those samples all night and had fallen asleep in the kitchen chair like that… he reached up, lacing his fingers with Carlos’, holding their hands snug against his heart, pounding in his chest, closing his eyes and attempting to sleep there next to Carlos, knowing he had to be awake in a few hours to meet up with Larry Leroy. 

After a few moments of failure, Cecil turned around, breaking the spoon up, to look into Carlos’ face. Carlos, for all his little imperfections, was the most perfect thing Cecil had ever imagined. His arms weren’t particularly muscular, and he had a little extra weight on him. He had a little stubble on his face from where he’d often been too distracted to shave, and his hair was longer, slightly curled, hanging in his face, most likely originally because he’d become too busy, too hard at work, too immersed in his science to go and cut it -but now left it long because Cecil absolutely wouldn’t allow it to be any shorter- it was absolutely perfect anyway. Cecil dragged a light finger across the stubble, giggling lightly at the drag of it across his skin. He twitched when Carlos reached up and grabbed his hand, his eyes widening a bit. “S-sorry.” He blushed. 

Carlos pulled his hand to his lips, pressing his soft lips against the overly sensitive skin on the back of Cecil’s hand. “It’s okay… I don’t think I’m going to get back to sleep.” he fixed his eyes on Cecil. “...You are so indescribable.” 

Cecil blushed. “I- I’m sorry, Carlos.” 

“Really. I know what you look like right now… but the moment I look away, it’s impossible to describe you…” Carlos stared at him. “... If either of us is perfect, Cecil, it’s probably you… Everyone in town loves and adores you, hangs off your every word, whether you’re in the studio or not, you never miss a date or event, or schedule, or anything. Your hair is always perfectly cut, you never miss shaving or anything. Cecil, you keep up on everyone and every event in town, constantly, never missing a beat. You’re completely open and kindhearted, and honest… If any of us were to be held to perfect, you’d be way closer than I would.” 

Cecil was blushing red from his hair to his toes at the compliments Carlos was piling on him. Carlos wasn’t entirely sure why Cecil was so embarrassed, it wasn’t anything unlike Cecil himself had said a hundred times about Carlos on the air. “Oh, Carlos,” Cecil breathed. “That’s the NICEST thing anyone has EVER said to me.” Guilt puddled in his stomach but he couldn’t even handle it, he was so busy glowing with the compliments Carlos had piled up on him. “No one has ever said those things -or anything like that- to me before!” He wrapped his arms around Carlos’ neck, kissing him passionately and desperately, his tongue slipping inside Carlos’s mouth, dancing with his, before moving away and planting small kisses all over his face. 

Carlos fielded the onslaught of kisses that Cecil was drowning him in, before pulling him against his mouth and kissing him, a long, slow kiss, that calmed Cecil down quickly. “Oh… my chest is just pounding…” Cecil clasped his hands to it. “I can’t believe you said all of that. Oh, Carlos, I could just COMBUST.” 

“Well, don’t do that, I’d have to catalogue you in my book of unusual phenomena that’s not supposed to happen but does in Night Vale.” Carlos sat up, looking over at Cecil who looked ridiculously ecstatic. 

Cecil sat up too, wrapping his arm around him snuggling against Carlos, tightly. “Mm… I love you!” Cecil said, passionately. “I love you, Carlos. My sweet, beautiful Carlos…” he murmured. 

Carlos chuckled a bit, holding Cecil. “I love you too, Cecil…” Cecil seemed like he might actually explode if Carlos didn’t continue kissing him, so he did. Hovering over top of him, he placed another deep, passionate kiss on Cecil’s lips, gently exploring the other man’s mouth. His hands slid over Cecil’s shoulders and down his chest, pulling up his undershirt, dragging his hand across the soft, delicate skin he felt there. 

Cecil gasped at the contact, biting his lip. The rough skin of Carlos’ hands burned their way across his stomach, sending pleasure shooting down to Cecil’s sensitive areas, causing Cecil’s breath to hitch in pleasure. “Carlos, we can’t, the PAPERWORK,” he sounded so breathless and eager, unbearably excited to think about doing something like this without the paperwork, knowing how absolutely wrong it was. He tipped his head back, his brows knit as Carlos’ rough hands slid over his smooth stomach and up his chest, brushing over his nipples. 

“I did some research yesterday…” Carlos said, in a drawn out voice. 

“Ah? … uh-huh…” Cecil blushed crimson, not sure where Carlos was going with this. Even if that was nowhere, it still sounded sexy to Cecil. 

“And I think I found a sort of a little loophole… almost like a black hole? in the paperwork… There are some clear-defined boundaries but I think we can still get done what you’d like me to do… If you don’t mind it being a little unusual.” 

“Oh! Carlos,” Cecil breathed. “Oh! You did RESEARCH for me?” he seemed overwhelmed at the very simple statement Carlos had made -again- and Carlos had a hard time understanding why Cecil was so excited about that. Carlos often suspected that maybe Cecil didn’t quite understand what scientists, or science, was or what they did. “Okay! Yes!” He blushed suddenly, thinking about how dangerous it sounded, the two of them evading a loophole in the the sexual consent forms… “Carlos, you’re so…” Cecil seemed to be lost for words. Carlos kissed him to shut him up. 

“After reading the forms available on the Night Vale Town Hall Website, there are a few things that can’t happen. We can’t be undressed.” Carlos started, looking a little annoyed. “In order for you to finish, I have to leave the room… But I think I devised a way so that-”

“Um, Carlos?” Cecil asked. 

“Uh, yes?” 

“Can we… just start?” Cecil’s voice was incredibly shy.

“Oh. Well, alright.” Carlos was surprised when Cecil’s mouth eagerly took his, the kiss hungry and wanting, Cecil’s hands sliding over Carlos’ clothes, before sliding up under them, running his hands across the bare skin of his stomach. Carlos kissed and sucked on Cecil’s neck, his hands sliding down, pushing Cecil’s shirt up his stomach, moving down to kiss a trail down Cecil’s stomach. Cecil giggled lightly at the ticklish sensation, but the lower Carlos got… Cecil’s hands knotted in his Carlos’ hair, his breathing growing heavy, his eyes closed and head lulled back, as Carlos’ tongue licked and teased the small patch of skin above the waistline of Cecil’s pants, right in the center, his tongue marking a direct path to Cecil’s hardening member. “I could study you for hours,” Carlos murmured. “and I have.” 

Cecil opened his eyes slowly, his breath still heavy, still panting lightly. “Oh, Carlos,” Cecil managed. “D-don’t talk science to me, I can’t…” 

That got a soft chuckle from Carlos. “That’s hardly talking science, Cecil…” he moved up, kissing and sucking on Cecil’s neck again, just below his ear. He whispered, “Talking science is more me telling you how I want to observe you in an excited state.” He was overly amused again at the breathy whimper that came from Cecil at the statement, smirking as Cecil bucked his hips at Carlos’ thigh, eager for some friction where he needed it. 

Carlos lowered his head to Cecil’s nipple, rolling his tongue around it and nipping lightly at it as he began slowly grinding his hips against Cecil’s. Cecil threaded his fingers in Carlos’ hair, moaning softly and whimpering. “Faster, Carlos,” 

Carlos stopped, reaching down, rubbing Cecil through the fabric, his fingers rolling and teasing over the thin denim pants Cecil was wearing, and Cecil’s hands gripped Carlos’ hair even tighter. Carlos moved back up, beginning to roll his hips at Cecil’s thigh, and Cecil began keening softly, overwhelmed by the contact. “Stop me when you need to…” Carlos murmured in his ear. Cecil gripped at Carlos’ shirt, using it as a purchase point to arch his back, increasing the friction between them. 

It wasn’t particularly beautiful, or elegant, or exactly what they wanted. But it was perfect nonetheless. Finally, Carlos moved off of him, stumbling into the next room. They finished together, even though there were several feet of empty space between them. After that, they went and cleaned up. Once Carlos was back in the bed with him, he wrapped an arm around Cecil, Cecil shaking from embarrassment and happiness, leaning against Carlos. “You didn’t have to do all that for me, Carlos… but I’m so glad you did,” Cecil whispered. 

“It’s okay.” Carlos kissed the top of his head. “Are you hungry? I’ll cook something.” 

“I can cook,” Cecil said, defensively. 

“Last time you cooked,” Carlos thought to himself, trying to find a delicate way to put it. “It turned into a sentient being who demanded to first eat all of the yellow objects in the whole building.” 

“I told you it was supposed to do that!” Cecil blushed bright red.

“Pancakes?” 

Cecil was looking around. “Um…” He blushed bright red. “What kind?” he whispered. 

Carlos got a patient smile, lowering his head to Cecil’s ear. “Wheat,” 

Cecil shuddered a bit in excitement, biting his lip as he looked up at Carlos. “... I would like that…” 

Carlos chuckled, going to cook breakfast. After Cecil ate, he was feeling a little gross about the mess so he went home and cleaned up, before going to make his appointment. Once in his car, Cecil took a deep breath and drove to Larry Leroy’s, determined to get to the bottom of this mess. He knocked at the door and Larry invited him in, offering to let Cecil take a seat on the couch. 

“Oh, but Larry, weren’t we going to go for a walk through the scrub wastes?” Cecil gave him a smile. 

Larry stared at Cecil before nodding grimly. “Yeah.” They got in Cecil’s car and drove out to the scrub wastes, taking a seat in the shade. 

Cecil sat, kneeling there in the shade of a rather large cactus, thinking a moment before he decided to talk. “Larry, I know that you’re working for the angels.” Larry twitched, looking concerned. “No, stay calm. I understand that you’re working for the angels, you and old woman Josie, and the man in the tan jacket… I understand that all of you are together, possibly working even with Tamika Flynn, to bring down StrexCorp. Is that true?” 

Larry was staring at Cecil, before a stupid looking grin spread across his face, slapping Cecil’s shoulder far more aggressively than Cecil would have appreciated. “Cecil, you’re such a kidder!” 

“I mean it. I want to help you.” Cecil stared at him, and Larry stared back. “StrexCorp has taken the… second… most important thing in my life away from me. I will do everything in my power to help get StrexCorp out of Night Vale. And, you know, not to toot my own horn or anything but I’m one of the most popular and influential people in town.” 

“That’s true, but Cecil, you don’t really… keep secrets,” Larry made a face. 

“I promise you, I’ll keep this one. More than that, Larry, I have the gift of clairvoyance.” Cecil pointed at his forehead. “I can see what’s going on all over town, and help you all move against Strex. I want to help. I don’t have to meet the other people involved, I don’t need to know their names. I’ll find out what I can find out, and I’ll pass the word along to you. I’ll write it on paper and pass it on to you.”

“Wow, you’re serious about this, aren’t you?” Larry asked, surprised. “Alright, Cecil. We could really use your support.” 

The desert heat was baking them, so they headed back, Cecil dropping him off of at his lab, before returning to his own apartment, going and taking a shower. Cecil checked the day and he didn’t have to go to Big Rico’s until tomorrow, so he settled down on the purring couch with a nice blanket and he reflected on his day. The day before had been terrible, horribly awful, but today had been absolutely, completely, absolutely perfectly perfect and Cecil wouldn’t redo a single thing.

He was still blissful and happy, thinking about what he and Carlos had done earlier and he squealed, embarrassed and excited. But then he thought about the other half of it. The darker half of his day. What he’d promised Larry. Kevin and Diego. Years of working at the station kicked on that extrasensory feeling, that innate knowledge that the show would be starting soon. With a big heavy heart, he turned the radio on, listening to the tail-end of the static that preceded the show by twenty minutes. 

**The sun has gone down. People lay down in their comfortable beds, people snuggle with their loved ones, get ready to lie down for another beautiful night…**

**Lovely afternoon, Night Vale!**

**It sure is dark and peaceful here in Night Vale at night, isn’t it? On the surface, anyway. I mean, I don’t know yet all the tics and quirks and all the super-special things that make this town so much fun for you to live in, but I’m sure I will soon enough! It looks like it was a bit of a slow news day, but I’m going to do everything I can to keep all you lovely Night Vale Citizens updated.**

Cecil was disgusted by listening to Kevin talk so blithely about HIS town, his Night Vale. _He knows nothing about the town, and… how can someone who knows nothing about Night Vale talk about it?_ He was frustrated. He texted Carlos. **Listen to him, Carlos! He’s an idiot!**

Cecil grumpily waited for a reply. **I haven’t been listening. No reason to if you’re not on it.**

Cecil brightened a bit. **Carlos! <3 ** was his reply. He called him up right after, giggling as he did. “Hello,” he giggled. 

“Hello, Cecil,” Carlos said, patiently. “I was thinking, next time, if you bring a change of clothes, you don’t have to go home right after.” 

Cecil blushed. “We’re going to do it again?” he asked, in awe. 

“Of course. I didn’t exploit a loophole for an isolated incident,” Carlos murmured. 

“I love it when you talk all scientific,” Cecil blushed even harder, biting his lip. Carlos, who was a little focused on something he was studying, just made a grunt of agreement. “So, um, what are you working on? Tell me.” Cecil said, excited. 

“Well… the couch sample yielded all the information it will for now… so I’ve moved on to re-evaluate a soil sample I’ve taken from my yard.” Carlos said, distantly. “Every time I test it, it yields different results and they’re always markedly unusual. I’ve tested 13 different samples of soil with different results. I may have to set aside my results and try testing the soil at different points of the day, and on various days of the week, to determine if I can find any distinguishable pattern to the unusual nature of it. At the very least, I know it’s not radioactive or anything, beyond the normal trace amounts of radiation that’s in everything, but it’d be nice to understand how SOMETHING works in Night Vale…” Carlos paused. “... Cecil? Are you still there?” 

Cecil cleared his throat. “Um, uh-huh. I’m listening,” he said, incredibly fascinated and, somehow, aroused by Carlos’ words. “Sorry. I just...” 

There was silence from Carlos’ end of the phone. “Cecil, are you getting…?” 

“Um… Yes.” Cecil’s voice was so quiet Carlos could barely hear it. 

“You’re so cute.” Carlos shook his head. “I thought you were kidding but I should know by now that you don’t kid about anything… If you think this is hot stuff, you should read my lab journals.” 

“Oh.” Color sprung into Cecil’s face. “C-can I?” 

“I was kidding but if you want to…” Carlos trailed off. “I’ll get one out for you.” 

“Eee I’ll read it on-” Cecil heard Kevin on the radio. 

**A drop of water in the ocean, rippling, the ocean a vast, tranquil mirage, an endless, infinite vision… A sunny day. The warm embracing arms of a lover to eliminate the sadness from your heart. To remove the VAST, bitter, endless jealousy deep down in your soul that makes you want to cut out the heart of anyone who would come between you and your lover. The still-beating heart in your hand.**

**… And that’s traffic.**

“On my… couch.” Cecil finished, lamely. “... Are we still on for Big Rico’s Thursday?” _I have no doubt in my mind as to whom he was talking about right there. Kevin would probably kill me without a second thought… and that Diego would be right behind him, encouraging him._

“Of course. Every Thursday at 4pm.” Carlos murmured.

 _I’m going to spend all of tomorrow studying every inch of Night Vale. I have to._ “Alright. I’ll see you Thursday then,” Cecil smiled. “I’m going to let you go, Carlos…” 

“Good night, Cecil.” Carlos murmured. 

The two of them said their goodbyes and hung up. Cecil sat up on the couch. He had an eventual limit on his powers so he might as well use up the rest of his powers for today. He opened his third eye and reached out into the world. His eye moved lazily, looking over the town, studying the town. He looked into the radio station and he overheard Kevin in HIS recording studio, chattering away, the two voices, the voice of Kevin talking in his head and the voice of Kevin over the radio, interlapped painfully off beat by a second, the cacophony hurting Cecil so he backed out. He focused on Diego to see what he was doing. 

Diego was on the phone, in a room all by himself. He was talking calmly and powerfully, clearly in charge of whatever task he undertook. “They’re resisting our efforts at every step but we are moving forward. Those damnable children certainly aren’t making things easy for us.” He was silent a moment. “Yes, well, we have a plan for that. A little trap for all those young, impressionable boys and girls led by that little demon…” he was silent a moment. “Yes. We’re sure they’ll fall right into it…” 

Cecil noticed the radio had turned to static. The door in his head flew open and Kevin was suddenly throwing himself against Diego, who held him an arms’ length away, ignoring the radio host. 

“... ab...solutely… sure,” Diego grunted, pushing Kevin to the ground, before leaning against the wall. Kevin stayed where he was, staring up at Diego with big eyes. “Of course. We’ve got it under control. Kevin’s finished his show and we’ll be heading back soon. Have a good evening.” He hung up the phone. “Kevin, what did I tell you about bothering me when I’m on the phone?” Diego scowled, turning to look at Kevin. 

Kevin got to his feet, leaning against Diego. Cecil decided he’d seen enough and he slowly started to back away mentally, the scene starting to collapse in on itself. “Diego, I know you don’t like public displays of affection but I need you,” he turned around, pressing his back to Diego’s side, putting Diego’s arm around his neck, taking a deep breath, waiting. “At least a small embrace?” 

Diego pushed Kevin forward. “Not until we get out of this town, Kevin. Go. Move.” Kevin stumbled forward, clearly not planning on moving. Diego let out a sigh, knowing there was no way around it, and Cecil flinched as a ringing slap, even through the clothing, landed across Kevin’s ass, causing Kevin to jump. “Move your ass, Kevin,” 

“O-okay!” Kevin seemed to regain all of his previous enthusiasm, at what he clearly felt was a show of affection. “I can’t wait until we get back to Desert Bluffs,” he was giggling. “I just- I love you to death.” The smile on his face seemed to widen and show more teeth than it should. 

“Hoping you don’t mean that literally, Kevin,” Diego sighed, as Kevin turned and gave him a smile. 

“Only out of love, Diego!” he said, before leaving the room. Diego followed him out, and Cecil returned to the present location, turning off the radio. 

Those two freaked him out. Cecil couldn’t imagine what sex was like over in Desert Bluffs but it scared him quite thoroughly. Cecil went into the kitchen and made himself some dinner, a bowl of buckwheat spaghetti, sauce, cheese, and meat, eating it, deciding he needed to pass the word to Larry as soon as he could. He sent Larry a text. **We should hang out tomorrow. Early, if you can. How is 9 am?**

 **Sounds fine I guess.** was the reply. 

Cecil set the phone aside and finished his dinner. He decided to go to bed a little early and he set the dishes in the sink and went to bed. Lying in bed, he thought to himself, _I’m glad my Carlos loves me… unlike his._


	4. Higgs-Boson Particles and Text Messages

The next morning, Cecil went to meet Larry, and they drove out to the scrub wastes. Cecil told him there of their plans, and Larry was nodding along. He seemed eager to pass this information along, so they weren’t gone long.

Following his post scrub waste shower, Cecil decided to go out into the town. He noticed the other citizens seemed to be rather panicked, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. Today WAS Panic Wednesday after all. Cecil spent the day going around town talking with people. He ended up downtown, and he noticed why the panic seemed more escalated than usual. There was a large, shiny new building right in the middle of town. Right where the dry, barren remains of where the Night Vale Cemetery used to be. It appeared to be a new burger place, called the Burger Place. _You order ‘em, we flip them,_ Cecil thought, absently. Then he wondered how he knew that, before realizing the whole place was radiating thought propaganda. _Eat our burgers. You can’t resist!_ Cecil studied the building. Well, seemed innocent enough. He WAS pretty hungry.

He took a seat in the back and a super peppy, perky waitress was at his table in a moment with a menu and a smile that widened a little further than a normal person would be comfortable with. “What can I get you?” She tilted her head, a little too far to the left. 

“A water, please.” Cecil looked up at her. 

The waitress nodded, nodded, nodded, and nodded a fourth time before taking the menu from him. “Got it got got got it,” the waitress said, smiling even wider. “I know EXACTLY exactly what you want.” 

Cecil gave her an odd look. “Yeah? Oh!” He brightened suddenly. “Are you one of those places that scans our brains and serves us exactly what we’re craving? That’s neat. I bet Desert BLUFFS doesn’t have any of those.” 

The waitress departed the table. Cecil slumped down in his booth, thinking about Carlos. What was he doing? Carlos was more along the lines of what he was craving, if you knew what he meant. But he was sure the restaurant couldn’t deliver that. The restaurant was strangely empty, rows and rows of booths lining the walls and tables out in the center of the floor. The retro red and black checkered theme of the restaurant appeared starched and stiff, as though it attempted to force casuality but instead just looked a combination of modern and outdated, all at the same time.

To Cecil's surprise, Carlos DID walk in, with a coworker. The coworker, a nice-enough looking brunette guy with pale skin and a little too thin of a physique for Cecil’s fixed eye, was in the middle of a joke. “And the cop asked him, he said, ‘Did you know you have a dead CAT in your trunk?’” The coworker went on. “And SCHRODINGER says, ‘Well, I do now.’ “

Both he and Carlos burst into laughter, as they took a seat, Carlos’ back to Cecil on the other side of the restaurant. _Does this restaurant read my mind?_ Cecil asked himself. _Oh. Duh. But… still. … That must have been some funny science-y outsider thing that I don’t get. I never make Carlos laugh like that._

“That’s a good one, but I have a better one.” Carlos straightened up. “So a higgs-boson particle walks into a catholic church, and the father tells him, ‘Your kind is not allowed here! You call yourself the GOD particle and that is SACRILEGIOUS… And the higgs-boson particle says, if you don’t allow higgs-boson particles then…” 

The coworker leaned forward. “-how do you have mass?” they said in unison before laughing some more. Cecil looked up at them, not sure if he should go over or not. Carlos seemed like he was enjoying himself. 

“Ah. Too bad science doesn’t work here. I bet if we tried Schrodingers’ Cat here the cat would split in half inside the box and we’d literally have a live cat and a dead cat in there.” Carlos sighed. 

“No kidding. If that thing is even a CAT.” The other scientist looked up as the waitress came over. 

“What can I get you?” she asked, handing them a menu. When they told her what drinks they wanted, she did the same thing she had done for Cecil. “Great, great, great. Our double bacon burgers with meat buns are the bestbestbest best…” she stopped a moment. “We’ll have that right out to you. To you.” she took the menus and left them sitting there. 

“Weird.” the coworker murmured. 

“Everything’s weird in Night Vale. A double bacon burger doesn’t sound bad though.” Carlos leaned back. “Of course until you learn that the bacon and the meat is made from some refined, by-product of-”

“Ahhh- not before I’ve eaten,” the other scientist insisted, raising his hands. “That’s the one thing I refuse to study. I have to eat. Don’t care what it’s made of.” 

Carlos took a drink of his drink which had materialized next to him. Cecil saw that his drink was there as well, and he also took a drink, wondering how long the wait time would be. 

“Can you believe we’ve actually adjusted here?” the coworker asked. “There were a hundred times in the first week that I nearly ran out of here screaming like a lunatic.” 

“There are still times I nearly run out screaming,” Carlos looked up at him. 

“Yeah, but you’re dating the most popular guy in town now. If YOU took off, or even TRIED, this town would lynch you,” The coworker laughed. “They’d cut your body into pieces and sacrifice it to some ancient Night Vale God or something.” 

Cecil slid down in his seat. _Totally not true. They’d likely just throw his body into the void. … I mean, if I let them! I wouldn’t let them do that. Even- … even if he did want to leave._

“It’s a good thing I don’t want to leave, then,” Carlos looked up at his coworker. 

“What, like, ever?” 

The waitress brought Cecil his burger, setting it down on the table with a clatter. Cecil jumped as she turned around and left. He studied it. It was just a plain burger with nothing on it, in between two rice buns. He reached for the ketchup, dumping it on his burger. What could he say? He liked ketchup. He was so busy listening to Carlos and his friend that he didn’t notice the spark flying off his burger.

“Yeah. I had a pretty good idea that once I came here I would never be able to leave again.” Carlos nodded. “And plus, why would I want to? This is THE most scientifically interesting town in the whole world. Science literally doesn’t work here. Everything we’ve ever learned our whole life, aside from the core basics, is completely untrue.” He grinned. “How can I not stay here? Plus…” 

“Plus what?” his coworker grinned. 

“Well… Cecil.” Carlos looked at the waitress as she brought their food. “I think… he might be the realest thing in Night Vale.” Cecil took a bite of his food, watching them. _This is pretty good. I like it. I'd come back..._ he thought about the burger.

“Awwwwwwwwwww,” the coworker smirked. “You done your experiments, Carlos? Do the results match your hypothesis?...” 

“No. They didn’t. I told you, science doesn’t seem to work here,” Carlos put some ketchup on his burger as well, looking up at his coworker. “But… my original suspicions about Cecil was wrong too, which is great.” Carlos and his coworker both took a bite of the burger. “You know, I thought that Cecil-” Carlos looked up to see his coworker frozen, twitching, his eyes rolling back in his head. 

He collapsed over the table and the waitress walked out, her grin widening. Cecil recognized that grin. Cecil ran over to Carlos, crossing the distance across the restaurant, grabbing his arm. “We have to go!” He tugged Carlos. Carlos startled but fled out of the room with Cecil. The doors slammed shut behind them as the waitress suddenly sprouted spider arms, and began spinning the diner in a cocooned web, before sinking her fangs into the paralyzed diner. 

“...” Carlos looked inside, before looking back at Cecil. “... Sp-spider… monsters?” he managed. “Cecil, you… you were in there the whole time?” Cecil flushed red. “I took a bite!” Carlos realized.

“So did I,” Cecil flushed. “But I feel fine.” 

“Cecil, did you put anything on your burger?” 

“Um… ketchup.” Cecil murmured. 

“So did I. The ketchup must have done something to the burgers.” Carlos suddenly seemed much calmer. “... Were you listening?” he looked up at Cecil. 

Cecil flushed. “I didn’t understand any of it. I mean- a little. I’m sorry I was listening.” 

“I’m more sorry you didn’t come over and sit with us.” Carlos cupped his cheek. “Why didn’t you?” 

Cecil turned extra red. “Well, I, um… we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately and I thought you needed some space because you used to say that, and you were with a friend and I didn’t want to get in your way or anything…” 

Carlos looked around a bit before leaning forward and kissing him on the lips gently. “I need to get home, but thank you, Cecil. Your quick thinking saved us in there. Now that my coworker’s gone, I have a lot of extra work to do...” Carlos sighed. “Cecil, this place is exhausting…”

Cecil took his hand, holding it gently. “Thank you for being here.” 

“I can never leave until it takes me away unwillingly.” Carlos murmured. “I’ll see you, Cecil.” 

Cecil watched him go and he headed back to his car. Cecil went to the grocery store and he bought some groceries and went back home, lying out on his couch. He kicked on the radio and listened to Kevin. 

**Good mo- um, Good evening, Night Vale!** Kevin’s obnoxiously bright voice chirped. Cecil didn’t know why he bothered listening. Kevin wasn’t going to tell him anything that he needed to hear. 

Cecil’s phone rang, and it was Carlos. Cecil answered it excitedly. “Yes Carlos?” he brightened. 

“Cecil, I had a few questions about the weird fungus that grows on our cars on Wednesdays… if you don’t mind me asking…” 

“Not at all! I don’t mind…” 

Cecil and Carlos got into a long conversation, discussing the mold that grows on Wednesdays, before Cecil overheard Kevin talking. 

**-and so, because I didn’t know anything about it, I asked my personal favorite scientist Diego onto the show to help me answer some questions. Diego?**

_Ugh!_ Cecil thought, disgusted. _Kevin’s got Diego on the show with him! Carlos, why did you never go on the air with me?_

“... Cecil?” 

“Huh? Oh, uh, yes? What is it?” Cecil snapped to attention. 

“I was just saying that I’m excited for tomorrow.” 

“Oh, me too!” Cecil gushed.

“I’m going to get off of here. The mold is… spreading. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Carlos sounded far away when he finally hung the phone up. 

Cecil realized he’d gotten a text from Larry Leroy, out on the edge of town. **_Thanks for this morning._**

 ** _No problem._** Cecil replied back. 

Cecil found himself listening to the radio. **And that’s it for today, listeners.** Cecil clicked the radio off, finding he hadn’t really even listened to Kevin. 

 

Thursday evening, Cecil and Carlos headed back to Cecil’s place, deciding to spend the evening there instead of at Carlos’. They’d ended up on the couch, watching a movie, when Cecil tilted his head up, planting a kiss on Carlos’ lips. Carlos smiled to himself, before lowering his head down and kissing Cecil back. Their light kisses became a bit heavier, and Cecil found himself hungrily indulging in Carlos, unable to stop himself. They continued making out, Cecil sliding his hands under Carlos’ clothes, his hands exploring the scientist’s body eagerly. Carlos lifted those hands up, moving forward, over top of Cecil, running his hands under Cecil’s shirt, before lowering his mouth to Cecil’s chest, placing warm, wet kisses down his body. 

Cecil let out a low, breathy pant, encouraging Carlos to keep going. Cecil’s phone went off and he startled. He turned, reaching for it. Carlos frowned, lifting his head. “Cecil?” 

“H-hold on, Carlos, that’s my phone, I have to see who that was…” Cecil groped for it on the nightstand. Carlos frowned, sitting back, looking at Cecil curiously. It was a message from Larry Leroy. **_C, come by at 9am, if you’re free._**

**_Sure, sounds fine._** Cecil replied back, rapidfire before setting his phone aside, turning back to Carlos. “Sorry about that.” He smiled at Carlos, sitting up, ready to continue. 

“It’s alright,” he patted Cecil’s knee, getting up, after pausing the Netflix. 

“Where are you going?” Cecil watched him head to the kitchen, worried Carlos was upset.

“Just going to get a drink. Do you want something?” Carlos gestured. 

“Oh, um, just some…” Cecil thought to himself, glancing at the TV. “I’ll come with you.” 

“Okay.” Carlos nodded, heading into the kitchen. 

Cecil poured himself a glass of brandy, while Carlos grabbed a beer. Somehow, things had gotten a bit awkward in the kitchen, and they were both silent. _What is he thinking? Is he angry? Why isn’t he talking?_ Cecil wondered. _I… I know I shouldn’t have answered that text but it was important and I can’t tell him why._

Carlos headed back into the living room and Cecil followed him, curling up on the couch. Carlos kicked the documentary back on. Cecil looked at it, but he didn’t hear it. He sipped his brandy and stared at the TV, burning with confusion. After a moment, he set his brandy down and scooted a little closer to Carlos, gently placing his head in Carlos’ lap. 

Carlos looked down and studied him a moment, before running his hands through Cecil’s hair, a smile curling onto his face. The tense mood seemed lifted at that. Whatever Carlos had been thinking, he’d changed his mind about it. Carlos ran his fingers through Cecil’s hair, gently, before looking back up at the TV. Cecil closed his eyes, letting the calm, peaceful moment take him over. 

When Cecil awoke, he was alone on the couch. There was a blanket over him, and a pillow under his head. Cecil couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep. He checked his phone and it was 6 am. He set an alarm on his phone for 8am and lay back down. He found that he couldn’t go back to sleep so he got up and took a shower and got dressed, cooking breakfast. He finished getting ready and drove out to Larry Leroy’s. Larry got into his car and nodded at him. 

Cecil started driving. To Cecil’s surprise, Larry directed him to a medium-sized house out in the scrub wastes and they got out and went up to the house. He pushed the door open and was startled to see children wall to wall, side to side, lined up on the floor of the tiny house. “Are they alright?” he inquired, eyes wide. 

“Yes. Welcome to Tamika Flynn’s child militia. I’ll be taking you to see Ms. Tamika now.” Larry gently pushed Cecil through the children, and Cecil walked carefully through them towards the back room of the house. 

There, at a desk, with a large map of Night Vale pinned to the desk, was Tamika Flynn, sitting, and patiently studying the map, as if the amount of time she had to develop plans were infinite. There were knives stuck in the table at locations that must have implied there were skirmishes. In the corner of the room, her arms tied to her body and feet tied together, was an older woman, sleeping peacefully. Tamika looked up, the librarian’s hand around her neck swinging. She rose to her feet. “Cecil Palmer, I presume.” 

Cecil stared at her, half frozen in terror before nodding slowly. 

“I am Tamika Flynn. I’ve heard of your powerful moving monologue towards my capture of a StrexCorp pilot you gave on the radio that day. I’m honored by your kind words.” Her voice showed not even a hint of emotion. “And I heard you passed information on to Larry Leroy here regarding StrexCorp activities. Information which led to the safety of my troops. I wanted to thank and honor you personally for that. We checked into your information and found it to be true. I’m very grateful.” 

Cecil nodded, hesitantly. “It was nothing. I stand firmly for you and anyone who stands against Strex.” 

“Of course… they fired you from your job at the radio station, didn’t they, Cecil Palmer?” Tamika met his eyes. “They fired you and replaced you with a babble brained StrexCorp slave who would do anything for Strex and that is fully in their power ever since they bought you and the station… It was a clever move on their part, wasn’t it? Now they can infiltrate the city from inside, rewriting the minds of the citizens to take them over… all without lifting barely a hand, just the time of one of their scientists and the StrexCorp slave who loves him. And soon, we will be another StrexCorp City, another Desert Bluffs.” 

“N-no! I can’t let that happen,” Cecil was shaking his head. “I love Night Vale, exactly how it is. I don’t want to change anything about it.” 

“We have plans to stop Strex. Unfortunately, our plans are dangerous. I must ask, what are you willing to do to help us?” Tamika asked. “Cecil Palmer, on the table lies this conundrum. You love Night Vale and everything about it. You want it not to change… but it will. Change is inevitable. On one hand, you may preserve the city the way it is… but you lose your beloved radio station. We will burn it down, for the sake of Night Vale. On the other, you keep your station, but lose your Night Vale. What would your choice be?” 

Cecil was staring, slack jawed at the small girl’s words. “Wh-what? You’re going to burn the station down?” 

“Make your choice, Cecil Palmer,” Tamika’s mouth was a grim and determined slash. “Would you lose your station to keep your Night Vale?”

“I… agh… yes!” Cecil decided in that moment. And as soon as he said it, he knew it was true. He didn’t agree with everything Night Vale City Council decided… he didn’t agree with all the weird events and things that happened that took so many lives. But he knew without a doubt that his life, Carlos’ life, everyone in Night Vale’s life would be infinitely worse if Strex were allowed to overrun it. 

“I see. Good. I’m glad that you follow the voice of reason.” Tamika murmured. “We share the same voice, but years apart. You are empty headed, and uneducated, but you are intelligent, Cecil Palmer. Together, we will take down Strex and save the city that belongs to us. But for now, I ask that you tell us how you acquired that information that you did.” She took a seat, her hands folded together on the table. 

“I have the power of clairvoyance.” Cecil hesitated. “Upon meeting anyone, I can view them at any moment. I have met with Kevin and Diego, the StrexCorp employees who spend their evenings at the station. And I overheard Diego talking to StrexCorp.”

“So. This is a fortitudinous advantage. You’re telling me that now I may give you orders and direct you without ever having to meet up with you?” Tamika questioned. “Welcome to my army, Cecil Palmer. You will look in on me every Wednesday afternoon at 6pm. I will give you your directions then. If you have something you need to tell me, you will pass it on to Larry Leroy. Understood?” 

Cecil nodded, slowly. “I understand.” 

“Good. Get out of my sight.” 

Cecil and Larry drove away from the location, driving back to Night Vale. Cecil let Larry out and they went their separate ways. Cecil went around the town socializing with people and looking for a new job, taking applications for any and everywhere, knowing that none of the jobs he was doing was what he wanted to do, but he’d resolved himself to doing them. … He still hadn’t figured out what he was going to do with his life outside of the station.


	5. Mara and Matthew

He ended up spending the next week going around town and striking up old acquaintances. Cecil had spoken with Carlos a few times on the phone over the course of the week, but Carlos had sounded extra busy and distant, so Cecil hadn’t asked if he could come over.

Not to mention, Cecil was busy going around and gathering information for Tamika and her crew. Somehow, the combination of gathering job applications, striking up old acquaintances, gathering information, and trying to keep up with Carlos was almost too much for Cecil. 

At the moment, he sat on his couch, the applications spread across his coffee table, his head in his hands, eyes staring absently at them. After a moment, he picked up a piece of graphite with a bit of cloth tape around the outside of it, and began to write on the applications. Cecil reminded himself that he needed to remember to check in with Tamika tomorrow. 

His phone rang and Cecil answered it. “Hello?” he asked, distantly. 

“Good evening, Cecil.” Carlos’ rich voice came across the phone, funneling straight into Cecil’s ear. A busy, distracted ear. 

“Hi, Carlos. How’s your work going?” Cecil asked, distantly. 

“As well as it can for Night Vale science. You haven’t called in a few days… I thought I’d… give you a call. Make sure everything’s alright over there and there’s nothing weird or dangerous…? You’re safe and well?”

Cecil grunted in agreement. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty busy… running around town getting applications for work… I have to work somewhere, I guess.” He was deeply focused on filling out his applications. 

“Yes, that’s true…” Carlos agreed, seeming like his attention was wholly on Cecil for once, while Cecil’s attention was divided. “I just… I was missing you.” 

Those words got through to Cecil quickly. The applications were momentarily forgotten. “You were missing me?” Cecil blushed, the color spreading down his neck. “Oh, Carlos, I miss you too!”

“I can’t get away from my work here, we’ve got a really tricky time sensitive experiment going, I just wanted to hear your voice. I’ll see you Thursday?” Carlos asked. 

“Yes, definitely Thursday,” Cecil agreed, happily. They talked another few moments before hanging up. Cecil leaned back in his chair. What Tamika had told him was still weighing heavy, stupidly, impossibly, unbearably heavy on his chest. _Going to burn the radio tower down._ Cecil buried his face in his hands, rubbing them through his hair. _I wish there was another way to do it. But there isn’t. I know there isn’t. As long as Strex owns the radio and Kevin controls the radio… there’s nothing we can do about it._ He leaned back against the seat, closing his eyes. _We have to get rid of the radio. Kevin has to disappear._

The next day, Cecil went and turned in all of the applications he’d filled out, and he realized he needed some groceries. He went to the grocery store and started picking up things to eat. He’d just finished picking up some canned soup when he heard a voice in front of him. “Well, it’s odd seeing you here,” Diego’s cold, slick voice met Cecil’s ears, and he looked up, meeting those cold, evil eyes. “What a strange coincidence.” 

“I LIVE in Night Vale,” Cecil said, his tone a bit annoyed. “You don’t. What are you doing here?” 

“Kevin and I are picking up something to eat before the show.” Diego ran his hands along the tin cans, scanning them as he walked past them. “It just happened to be an odd coincidence that I’ve run into you here…” He moved past Cecil’s cart, knowing the Night Vale citizen was watching him closely, suspiciously. 

“Stay away from me,” Cecil said, harshly. 

Diego turned to face him, placing a hand on the handle of the cart, placing the other on the shelf, cornering Cecil. “Do you want your job back, Cecil?” Diego raised an eyebrow. “I could possibly get you your job back. But it doesn’t come for free.” 

Cecil narrowed his eyes at him, his heart pounding from fear over what the Desert Bluff’s lunatic might do to him if he were pissed off. “... How? How would I get my station back?” 

“You simply have to come with me and allow me to… reeducate you. Allow us to reeducate you in the way of Desert Bluffs. Embrace Strexcorp.” Diego smirked. “And embrace me as your god.” 

“Stop this,” Cecil said, hoarsely, terrified by the man who seemed to wear Carlos’ face but none of his heart or soul. “What about Kevin?” 

“... What about him?” the smirk widened. “He doesn’t have to know.” 

Cecil shoved Diego away before pushing his cart down the aisle, at rapid speed. Kevin came around the end of the aisle, peeking down the aisle, seeing Cecil and Diego there. Kevin frowned, staring down the aisle with a terrifying, blank gaze. Cecil came to a rapid halt, not wanting to hit him. Kevin fixed his blank stare on Cecil, narrowing his eyes, before moving past him and running down the aisle, grabbing Diego. 

“Diego, why were you there with him? Why did you talk to him? What were you talking about?” Kevin’s fingers dug into Diego’s lab coat sleeve. “I love you, don’t I? I do everything for you, anything. Don’t I bleed so well for you? What do I have to do to get you to stop talking to him? Cut my own heart out and give it to you?” 

“Kevin, shut up,” Diego hissed through his teeth, looking down at Kevin. “Night Vale. We are in Night Vale. This is not okay here.” 

Cecil decided to not listen anymore. He had plenty of groceries. He rapidly checked out and moved his groceries to the car. He drove for home, his heart pounding out of fear. He drove for home, barely making it in with his groceries in time for 6pm to roll around. Cecil dropped his bags on the couch and opened up his third eye, fixing it on Tamika. 

Tamika was sitting at her desk. “Cecil Palmer,” she murmured. “I don’t know if you’re hearing me but I assume that you are. Cecil Palmer. You have two orders for this week. The first one is to keep a very close eye on Diego and Kevin. Let us know if any plans arise. And secondly, my children will be needing a place to hide in the wake of the radio tower destruction. You will let them stay with you until things cool down… You will pass on any and all information to them, until as such time as we can send for them. This is the end of your instructions. If you fail to comply we will have you killed. If you pass any information on to Strex, we will have you killed. Good night, Cecil Palmer.” 

Cecil closed his third eye, and picked up his groceries. Ugh I have to keep watching Diego and Kevin. And worse than that, I have to watch some of Tamika’s kids… This will be interesting. 

He prepared dinner and went to bed early. He got up the next morning and wrapped himself in a blanket and started watching TV. He knew Kevin and Diego were out of town and Cecil’s range didn’t extend that far. So he stared at the TV, watching a documentary Carlos had raved about and Cecil wondered what Carlos was doing. He imagined him sitting in his lab, testing hypothesis on the soil, and Cecil rested his head on the arm of the couch, dreamily thinking about Carlos, and blushing lightly imagining him using ink pens and making pasta… 

Cecil decided he needed to go check the mail. He walked down the stairs and around the corner to the mailboxes, unlocking his. His heart pounded excitedly, and he stopped short when he saw the letter from City Hall and a crimson blush spread across his face. _Oh man… it’s here. Why did it have to arrive now? I’m so busy…_ He walked back up to the apartment. He set the City Hall letter on the TV stand and flipped through the rest of the junk mail before dropping the junk mail onto the coffee table. 

Cecil cleaned his apartment, and finished straightening everything up when his doorbell rang. He frowned at it, wondering who it could be. He opened his door and two kids were standing there with big dough eyes and happy smiles. “Uncle Cecil!” the taller girl hugged him about the waist. “I’m so glad we get to come stay with you!” 

“Uh, oh- right, yeah. Come on in, kids.” Cecil was incredibly not comfortable with this. He shut the door behind them. “How’s your mother?” he decided to ask, since it seemed like the thing an uncle would ask his niece and nephew.

“She’s doing well! She’s almost recovered from that horrific grape incident…” the older girl hesitated. “You know the one. Right, Matthew?” The younger boy nodded.

“Only too well,” Cecil replied, sighing. _The grape plague of last year. That’s a clever touch. These kids are brilliant._ “Hey, kids, would you like to watch something?” 

“Yes!” the younger boy ran over to the couch, sitting on it, staring at the TV eagerly. Cecil put on netflix and gave him the remote. “Mara, come sit with me!” 

Cecil went into the kitchen, leaning over the stove, trying to decide what to cook. He hummed and debated over it, before the older girl came in. “I can cook for my brother and I, we don’t want to inconvenience you, Uncle Cecil.” 

“Uh, oh? Well, okay, as long as you clean up after yourselves, that sounds fine.” Cecil was a little confused. “Mara.” 

The girl beamed. “Oh, I promise I’ll clean up after myself,” she skipped off back to the living room and Cecil leaned on the countertop, staring out the window. 

_So right now, my station is gone. Burned to ash, or blown to pieces, or whatever… This feels so odd. These kids in my house, I have to pretend to know them… Now even if I get less busy, I still can’t invite Carlos over. He’ll get the wrong idea entirely…_ Cecil rested his chin in his hand, staring absently out the window at the toupe sky, thinking to himself. 

His phone rang, and Cecil checked it. Carlos. Cecil answered it. “I was just thinking about you! How’d you know?” Cecil questioned, teasingly. 

“Cecil, did you forget what today is?” Carlos sounded a bit confused. There was a little bit of noise in the background, like he was- 

“Oh! Carlos, I’m so sorry! I lost track of time! I’ll be right there!” Cecil straightened up, hanging up the phone and rushing to the door. “How old are you, Mara?” Cecil stopped to question Mara.

“Sixteen, Uncle Cecil, you’re so funny. Don’t remember how old I am…” She gave him a small, pained smile. 

“I have to go, I promised someone I would meet them somewhere. I’ll be back soon, kids.” Cecil promised, before rushing out the door. 

 

“Carlos, I’m so sorry,” Cecil managed, standing at the edge of the table, a little winded. “I was… working on applications and cleaning my house and… I completely forgot what day it was. I’m so sorry that I was late.” 

“Oh, it’s alright,” Carlos looked up at him. “Sit down, Cecil, the food’s still warm.” 

Cecil slid into the booth, relaxing down into the seat. “I can’t believe I forgot what day it was…” He reached for his plate of pizza, with a rice flour crust, beginning to eat it. “Ughhhh… I swear to you, I’m not going to be late or unable to attend our next date, Carlos. Okay? I promise I’ll be there on time.”

Carlos gave him a small smile. “Cecil, it’s okay. I promise. I’m not that upset. So how’d your application hunting go?”

“Not well,” Cecil sighed. “Every job I applied for-” 

“Cecil! Cecil, did you hear?” Someone was next to their table, breathless and in a panic. 

“Uh… intern… Louis?” Cecil made a face. “Right?” 

“Cecil, the radio tower and recording studio, it’s on fire!” Louis said, desperately. 

Cecil startled, his knee slamming into the underside of the table. “WHAT?” 

“Yeah, someone set it on fire! Luckily we all managed to evacuate before anyone was hurt but it doesn’t look like firefighters are going to be able to contain the flames.” Louis leaned over the table, resting his head against it. “Cecil, this is terrible. This is the absolute worst.” 

Carlos grabbed his keys. “Come on, Cecil.” Cecil got to his feet and the two of them fled the restaurant, after paying for the pizza and rushed over to the station. The whole building was engulfed in flames, licking all the way to the top. Everyone was standing outside it, staring up at the building, expressionless. 

Kevin noticed them first. He rushed over and grabbed Cecil by the sleeve, and Cecil turned to face him. “Cecil, we need to talk,” Kevin said, in an ominous voice.

Carlos was staring blankly between Cecil and Kevin, seeming unnerved by how similar they looked. Cecil winced, looking up at the station. “I don’t have anything to say to you, Kevin,” 

“Kevin, don’t bother Cecil,” Diego’s smooth voice called out, before he wrapped an arm around Kevin. “Hello, Cecil. This is beautiful work… Yours?” 

“No! I would never!” Cecil bristled. “How… how dare you think that I would do this?...” 

“You know, it’s not that big a deal. After it’s burned down, we’ll just build another one.” Diego looked up at the raging fire. “One just like yours back home, right, Kevin?” 

“Yes! Please! This station… their equipment was so old. And dry.” Kevin looked up at Diego. “It’s just not good radio equipment if it doesn’t bleed.” 

Cecil was trembling with rage and overwhelmed by the fire and the two of them. Diego looked up and saw Carlos’ eye and he smiled. “Ah, wait. You. You’re Carlos, the town scientist?” He straightened up, extending his hand to Carlos. Carlos reached back for him, but Cecil grabbed his arm. Carlos looked at Cecil who was shaking his head. 

Carlos lowered his arm, looking up at Diego. “I’m sorry… I’m afraid I don’t know who you are.”

“I’m surprised Cecil here hasn’t mentioned me to you. I’ve heard a bit about you from him.” Diego smirked. “My name is Diego, I’m a scientist working for StrexCorp.” 

“Oh…” Carlos frowned. Cecil couldn’t explain why but it felt like his heart was shattering into pieces. It was incredibly hard to breathe. “... and how do you know Cecil so well?” Cecil couldn’t hold back the tears that started to well up in his eyes because he knew the answer was going to be bad.

“He came by the station the other day. He’d left a few things.” Diego decided to be merciful, although Cecil didn’t know why. “He called me Carlos at first but realized VERY quickly I wasn’t him. Well. You, I suppose.” 

“Carlos, let’s leave,” Cecil looked up at him. “Please.” 

“Yeah, alright. It was nice to meet you, Diego.” They got back into Carlos’ car, Carlos starting the car and driving back to Big Rico’s in silence. 

Cecil couldn’t stand it. “Carlos-” 

Carlos shook his head. “I need to think, Cecil.” 

The words died on Cecil’s tongue and he wrapped his arms around himself, staring out the window. Once they got back to Big Rico’s, Carlos sat in the driver’s seat, silently thinking. Cecil sat next to him, scared about what Carlos might be thinking. 

“What did you forget at the station?” Carlos asked. 

Cecil startled. “I- uh, I forgot my…” 

“Cecil, after I told you to stay away from StrexCorp and not do anything reckless, you run right back there.” His voice wavered, cracking a bit, but low and angry. Carlos’ hands gripped the wheel hard enough to leave his knuckles white. “And you… you’re missing dates with me, you’re late to the dates you DO arrive at, you don’t call much anymore, and you’re hanging out with guys like that, and don’t tell me about them. He was a little too familiar with you just to have met you that once. And then when we’re spending time together on our dates, you’re stopping to answer messages and don’t tell me who they’re from… You’re… you were always the most genuine, honest person in this town and I… I always felt like I could trust you.” Carlos looked out the window. “At first I thought you were crazy, but I fell in love with your open heart and honesty. Cecil, I know you’re still an honest person, even if you’re… keeping these secrets but… I’m going to ask you one question, and I’m going to trust you whatever you say because I really, really want to trust you…” he took a deep breath. “You still… love me, right? You haven’t…” 

Cecil gasped, the loudest and most shocked gasp he’d ever let out in his life, so hard that he nearly choked on it, lunging himself across the car, gripping Carlos’ sleeve, tears welling slightly in his eyes. “YES! I still love you! Don’t… don’t even think that! Of course I love you, Carlos! Only you. Don’t think for even a second that I would stop…” 

Carlos wrapped a hand around his head, tilting his head up and kissing Cecil gently. Cecil melted into Carlos’ kiss, his tears drying up, feeling Carlos’ affectionate presence overriding everything else. The kiss lasted a long time, Carlos’ fingers stroking his cheek. Pulling away, Carlos murmured into Cecil’s neck. “Want to come over?” 

“Oh… oh, Carlos, I would…” Cecil blushed. “I would, yes, but… I left the paperwork at home, and… I’ve got something I need to work on tonight…” 

Carlos looked startled. “I- … the… the paperwork came?” 

Cecil blushed crimson. “Yes… Today. I was going to wait until I had a little more free time to show you…” 

“Um… oh, so, you have a lot going on tonight?” Carlos asked, in a low voice. 

“Carlos, I promise as soon as this thing is over I’m going to surprise you in your lab, and we’re going to… consummate our paperwork,” Cecil was blushing bright red, and Carlos leaned towards him, placing kisses all over his face. 

“Alright. I look forward to it.” Carlos murmured, his thumbs brushing across Cecil’s cheeks. 

Cecil blushed and turned away, opening the door. “Good night, Carlos…” 

“Ahh… Cecil.” Carlos hesitated. “... um, don’t do anything too dangerous, okay?” 

Cecil blew him a kiss, before leaving his car, and getting into his own. He drove for home, and entered his house. The girl was reading a book in the recliner, while her brother was on the couch sleeping. Cecil mentally groaned. These two were the reason he hadn’t gotten any with Carlos that night. Regardless… 

“You two can share my bed. It makes more sense that way. One person can fit on the couch, two in the bed, so whenever you’re ready to lie down, go ahead and move that way. It’s the second door on the left,” Cecil nodded. 

Mara looked up at him, her eyes full of some unnerving, infinite wisdom. She nodded in response. “If you’re hungry, go ahead, I made extra.” 

“What DID you make?” Cecil peeked into the kitchen. 

“Fried rice. You had all the ingredients.” Mara explained. 

“Oh. Neat. Yeah, our dinner was cut short. Turns out the radio tower was burned down.” Cecil went into the kitchen. 

Mara gasped. “No way.” 

Cecil could have laughed but he didn’t. He just nodded. “Yeah. Really. But I hear StrexCorp is going to rebuild.”

“Oh are they?” Mara asked, her voice a bit cool. “Hmm.” 

“Yeah.” Cecil helped himself to the food. He took a seat at the kitchen table and started eating, distantly thinking about what he might have been doing if these kids weren’t there. He could practically feel Carlos’ hot breath on his neck and he imagined a hand sliding smoothly up his leg. Carlos’ hand, with those long, delicate scientist fingers. There were no hitches or embarrassment in his thoughts, but he startled when he spotted Mara standing by the table, looking at him. For the second time, he slammed his knee into the underside of the table.

“Uncle Cecil?” 

“Um- yes?” Cecil asked, his voice breaking in embarrassment, rubbing his knee.

“I wanted to say thank you for letting us stay here. I know it’s a bit inconvenient for you… but you’re much nicer than my other relatives.” Mara looked straight at him. “You’re much nicer to us than they were. You let us crash on your couch, watch your netflix, and cook for ourselves instead of feeding us something we don’t like. You even offered us your bed, so that I didn’t have to sleep sitting up. I hope that someday I’ll be able to repay you for this kindness…” Mara paused. “It’s more kindness than my brother has seen in some time.”

“Oh… uh…” Cecil instantly felt bad. “It’s no problem. Really. Don’t worry about repaying me… Honestly. I just did what any good uncle would do, Mara.” He gave her a smile. “We’re family. You’re welcome here anytime.”

“But I imagine by your demeanor, you also gave up an important engagement to be here.” Mara crossed her hands over her stomach. “I’m guessing that letter on the TV stand in the pink envelope was a C531?” 

Cecil blushed crimson red and turned away from her. “N-no! What would give you…” 

“So it was. I’m very, incredibly sorry to ruin your special evening.” Mara paused. “I know we showed up without an invitation. If you’d like, you can go and have your night. We’ll be fine here.” 

“N-no, of course not.” Cecil shook his head. “I’m fine. I can enjoy my… evening some other time. Carlos and I love each other and as such, we don’t need to leap into… C531ing right away.” 

Mara couldn’t help but giggle lightly at Cecil’s words. “You’re a very kind person, Uncle Cecil. Matthew and I will be going to bed now.” She lightly kissed Cecil on his temple. “Good night.” She went into the living room, picking up her little brother and carrying him to Cecil’s room. 

Cecil continued eating the fried rice, thinking to himself. He wanted so badly to drive over to Carlos’ lab and… well… C531 him on the table of his lab until all his experiments were ruined but that would have to wait. 

Cecil finished the meal, before putting the dishes away, and gathering the leftovers in a bowl, pushing the bowl to the back of the fridge, so the sentient creature which lurked in the back of the fridge could eat and be satisfied. Cecil had once forgotten to feed it and it had consumed all the food in his fridge. It would eat anything he pushed back there, as long as he said, “An offering for you,” and closed the fridge immediately after. 

Cecil went to the closet, pulling out a spare blanket, going back over to the couch, lying the blanket out on it. It had been a long day and Cecil was ready for bed. Cecil turned the lights out, did his nightly chanting, and went to bed.


	6. Buttered Toast and C531

The next day, Cecil cooked breakfast, spent a fair portion of his day spying on the townspeople, and then cooked dinner. He was just sitting down at the couch with Mara and Matthew to watch some fun show when the door rang. “I’LL GET IT,” Matthew yelled at the top of his lungs, placing his bowl on the coffee table and running to the door. He flung it open. “HI!” 

Carlos stood there, looking confused, down at the little boy. “Uh, well, hello there. Um, is… Cecil?” 

“Carlos!” Cecil was on his feet in a moment, setting his bowl down as well, zooming over to the door. He flung his arms around Carlos’ neck. “Hi, Carlos.” 

“Um… hi, Cecil. Who are these two lovely kids?” Carlos questioned. 

“Oh, this little guy is Matthew, and that girl there is Mara. My niece and nephew.” Cecil explained. “Carlos, would you like to join us for dinner? I made goulash.” he gave Carlos a bright smile. 

“Oh… sure. I wouldn’t mind.” Carlos said, a little awkwardly. “Sounds great.” 

“Uncle Cecil, I don’t know that he came for dinner.” Mara pointed out. “Maybe dessert.”

Both Cecil and Carlos stiffened, awkwardly. “M-Mara! Mind your… oooh!” Cecil was blushing. 

“He came for some C531, Uncle Cecil…” Mara muttered under her breath. 

“Come on into the kitchen, Carlos, and I’ll get you something to eat,” Cecil led him by the hand to the kitchen, awkwardly. 

“You… didn’t tell me you had family over,” Carlos said, awkwardly. 

“Ah… yeah, I… It’s a weird story, and I didn’t… I was hoping…” Cecil paused. “Well… anyway, I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you.” He lowered his head over the stove, ladling out Carlos a bowl of the food. 

“Cecil, what’s… C531?” Carlos frowned. 

Cecil turned crimson, nearly dropping the bowl. “Uh, it’s… the… uh. … the number on the forms. The forms I had to fill out for city council.”

“...Oh. Huh.” Carlos mulled. “I like the sound of that. Well,” he teased, leaning against the counter. “Maybe I did come for some C531…” he said in a low voice. “Or at the end of it, I would…”

Cecil did drop the bowl this time and it broke with a loud crash, spilling the food everywhere and Cecil was bright red. “Carlos, you made me drop it!” he buried his face in his own shoulder. “I’ll get another one…” he got another bowl out.

Carlos laughed. “I’m sorry, Cecil. I’ll clean it up. It was my fault for teasing you. That’s not actually why I came over.”

“O-oh?” Cecil blushed, ladling the food out and giving it to Carlos. “I’ll clean it up, don’t worry… but why did you come over?” He went to the living room closet, still blushing red and he returned with a broom and a dustpan. 

“Well… Cecil, I told you I would clean that up.” Carlos set the bowl on the counter, gently taking the broom and dustpan from Cecil, winking at him. “You don’t need to clean up after me, Cecil.”

“But I made the mess!” Cecil protested.

“-I’m an adult. I caused you to make the mess. Go put something on the TV and settle in with the kids.” 

Cecil hesitated before wrapping his arms around Carlos’ neck. “I’m sorry, Carlos. I just have so much going on right now, I can’t… It’s really hard for me to juggle everything,” he said, his voice breaking a bit. “I WANT to. I want you to be, like, the number one, front and center thing but… there’s so much that demands my attention but…” 

Carlos wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his forehead. “I know. It’s okay, Cecil.” He held him tightly, resting their foreheads together. “I totally understand. I’ve got a lot of work to do here in Night Vale, so you can take your time doing what you need to do. I’m always very busy observing and recording the unusual properties of physics and ecology, and… gravity. And…” Carlos suddenly sighed heavily. “And everything… But it’s okay. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, it just means that I can focus a lot more on my work until you find you have more free time… is that okay?” 

Cecil’s heart swelled, out of joy. He pulled away from Carlos, happily. “Yes! Okay! Thank you, Carlos. I have the most understanding scientist boyfriend in the world~ I promise as soon as things slow down for me, I’m going to come over with the C531, and some equipment and it will DEFINITELY happen.” Cecil clapped his hands together. 

Carlos dropped the broom but snatched it out of the air, awkwardly leaning on it a bit. “Oh? Ah… equipment? What do… What? What does that… is that some weird Night Vale thing that I didn’t know about?”

“I don’t know,” Cecil looked puzzled. “I mean like… lubricant and…” he blushed. “Condoms and stuff.” 

“Oh! Oh… right.” Carlos said, awkwardly. “Yeah, right. Of course. Essential.” 

“Yeah.” Cecil blushed. “It’s weird explaining it all matter of fact like this… Are you sure I shouldn’t clean that up?” 

“Cecil, go sit down,” Carlos winked at him. 

Cecil hesitated before moving against him, wrapping one hand around the back of his neck, and getting up on his tiptoes to kiss him. Cecil cherished the intimate moment with Carlos, finally pulling away and heading back into the living room. Cecil went into the living room, taking an seat on the couch. “Alright, kids, what are we watching?” He picked up his bowl. 

“Well, I was watching two adult men try to keep from ba- … C531ing on the kitchen table… my brother is watching Bambi.” Mara looked up at the TV. 

Cecil looked shocked. “Mara! That is so… inappropriate!” 

“Well, you have the proper forms. Why not just go to your room and get it on?” Mara raised a brow. 

“Bambi was one of my favorite movies as a kid,” Carlos came into the living room and took a seat on the recliner. 

“I like it too! My favorite part is the part where Bambi gets revenge for his mom and he’s all covered in blood and there’s viscera hanging off his horns!” Matthew squealed, kicking his legs. “I could watch that scene FOREVER.” 

“Don’t spill your food, Matthew,” Cecil reminded, gently. “I don’t need to feed the couch for another three days at least.”

Carlos stared blankly at Matthew. “I- … I’m sorry. What scene?... Uh, that wasn’t in… my version. I guess we watched an edited… version.” He looked up at the TV. 

“I really felt that scene was an appropriate representation of the society we live in and what’s expected of us, as children. After all, we’re expected to seek out revenge from those who took our parents or family members from us, provided we know who did it. It’s actually illegal now to kill people, the government’s changed that, so I guess they’ve understood the pressure that was on us to kill those who killed our loved ones…” Matthew went on, cheerfully. “So, that was great! I can’t wait for it.” He took a large bite of his food while Carlos was still staring emptily at him. 

“Uh, me too.” Carlos muttered, starting to eat. 

The rest of the meal went peacefully, and they all ate and Cecil took the plates to the kitchen and loaded them into the dishwasher. Leaving the kitchen, he saw Carlos, Matthew and Mara talking casually, and it made him smile. A check of the clock showed that it was getting late. “Mara, shouldn’t you be tucking the little one into bed?” Cecil questioned. 

Mara glanced up at him. “Yeah. Don’t get too loud in here.” She stood up. “Come on, Matthew.” 

Cecil gaped, turning red. “I- I wasn’t… we’re not!” 

“Niiiiight,” Mara disappeared into Cecil’s room with Matthew, who was protesting sleepily.

“Agh… she’s such a… agh.” Cecil blushed, taking a seat on the couch, his hands resting on his knees. “She’s a mess.”

“Those kids are wildly intelligent… some of the smartest individuals I’ve encountered in Night Vale…” Carlos murmured. “It’s… unusual…”

Cecil realized Carlos was uncomfortably close to something he shouldn’t be. Cecil got to his feet quickly and moved over to Carlos in the armchair, scooting into him and lying his head against Carlos’ shoulder. Carlos looked surprised but wrapped his arms around Cecil. “Hmm? What’s wrong, Cecil?” 

“I was just thinking about what you said. Is… everything really that backwards and wrong in Night Vale?” Cecil hesitated. 

“Well, you aren’t.” Carlos shook his head. “But yeah, everything else is.” 

Cecil looked up at him, wide-eyed. “I’m not?” 

“Well, maybe you are,” Carlos seemed amused. “After all… I don’t think anyone else has a love like yours, with absolutely no strings attached. Especially for an overweight, workaholic who can’t even find time to get a haircut.” 

Cecil gasped. “Don’t say things like that about yourself. I love you exactly as you are. And don’t cut your hair! You don’t need to find the time.” He snuggled closer to Carlos. “Stay busy then, Carlos!” 

Carlos threw his head back and laughed a moment, before grinning and saying, “Okay, I know it’s seriously not funny and you should please, never, ever do this again, but… remember what you did to that poor barber the last time I got a haircut?” 

“He DESERVED IT, Carlos,” Cecil said, in an annoyed tone. 

“Cecil, you made the town send that poor man into the sand wastes to die, for giving me a haircut I asked and paid for,” Carlos shook his head, amused. “Cecil, have you thought that maybe I like my hair that short?” 

Cecil was silent a moment. “... no.” 

“What if I wanted to-” 

“No.” 

Carlos laughed again. “You didn’t even hear what I wanted to do.” 

“Cut your hair. Still no.” Cecil frowned at him. Carlos leaned forward, kissing Cecil affectionately. Pulling away, Cecil said, in a breathless voice, “It’s pointless anyway. No barber in town will touch your hair. Not after what I did to Telly.”

“What if I cut my own hair?” Carlos raised a brow, curiously. 

“... You wouldn’t.” Cecil recoiled in horror. “Carlos, you said you loved me.” 

Carlos pulled him close again. “I do love you! I’m- I’m not going to actually cut my hair. I was just wondering. I mean, I can have it trimmed, right?” 

“Yes. That’s okay.” Cecil decided. “No shorter than it is now.” 

Carlos chuckled, nestling his head against Cecil’s. Cecil could breathe in the sharp smell of the soap the scientist used, and, underneath that, the warm, if not slightly musky, smell of his skin. “I should be getting back to the lab, Cecil.” 

“I never want you to leave,” Cecil murmured. 

“I know.” Carlos kissed his forehead. “My lab-mates want to… ugh, it’s so stupid… they want to tie a piece of buttered bread to a cat’s back and see if the cat hovers. If it does, we might have made a breakthrough in Night Vale physics… If not, then that’s about right.” 

Cecil giggled. “Tie a piece of buttered bread to Khoshehk’s belly and see if he lands.” 

“Uh, I would, but… Uh, I’m… scared of it.” Carlos muttered. “That thing’s not a cat, Cecil.” 

“Of course it is!” Cecil looked offended.

“Okay… um… We’ll discuss this tomorrow.” Carlos slid out from under Cecil, giving him a final kiss on his forehead. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Cecil looked up at Carlos, staring into his eyes. 

Carlos shook his head, smiling amusedly to himself. He headed to the door, closing it behind him. “Ugh, Uncle Cecil,” Mara called from the bedroom. 

“Good night!” Cecil yelled back. He went to bed, lying down. 

The next day, Cecil went out and bought some groceries for the house. _It’s really strange, buying groceries for so many people. It’s nice._ Cecil bit his lip, embarrassed, as he looked over a can of soup. _I wonder what it’s going to be like once they’re gone… I wonder… wonder if Carlos ever thinks about…_ Embarrassed, Cecil tossed the can in his cart, along with a few more. _Never mind._

On his drive home, he saw the new radio tower and station, sleek and shiny, and Cecil felt sick. It had been rebuilt already. The tower seemed to stretch unnaturally high in the sky, and was so shiny, the sun glaring off it was nearly enough to cause Cecil to have an accident. It made him feel uneasy.

He drove home, and Mara and Matthew seemed needlessly on edge. They seemed to have already heard the news, and were nervous as he was. “Uh, U-Uncle Cecil, could we not listen to the radio tonight?” Mara asked, with a smile. A strained one. “Let’s watch some more TV, okay?” 

Cecil didn’t understand what was going on, but he was more than happy to oblige. “Sure.”

“Oh, and, Uncle Cecil? Can we go out and play in the Sand Wastes tomorrow?” Mara asked again. “Matthew is getting a little stircrazy.” 

“I am not!” Matthew protested. 

“Sure, I don’t mind,” Cecil was confused, but he went into the kitchen. 

While he was making dinner, Mara came into the kitchen. “Uncle Cecil?”

“What is it, Mara?” Cecil gave her an odd look. 

“Well, I was just thinking, you should invite Carlos over for dinner!” Mara said, her hands tapping the table, a bit nervously or excitedly. 

“Well… I… Carlos is pretty busy…” Cecil murmured, confused. 

“Please, Uncle Cecil? He was so smart, and he really was very nice to talk to.” Mara asked again.

Cecil got the feeling something big was going on, something he didn’t understand. “Uh, I’ll call him.” 

Mara nodded, her hands still tapping out that odd rhythm. “Yes, please do that.” 

Cecil pulled his phone out of his pocket, leaning against the counter as he dialed Carlos. “Uh, hi, Carlos. Mara was wanting you to come over for dinner, if you’re free. Me too, of course.” 

“Tell him to hurry!” Mara insisted. “Hurry.” 

“Uh, she says to really, really hurry.” Cecil said, confused. 

“Oh, I guess I could. It sounds important. I’ll be over right away.” Carlos responded, confused. 

Mara went over to the chopping block and removed a knife. Cecil startled, keeping his eyes on her. Mara took the knife and went into the living room. Cecil peered in to see her severing the cord between the radio and the wall. He winced. 

“Uh, yeah, please do, Carlos.” Cecil said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’ll see you when you get here.” 

They hung up, and Mara came back into the kitchen, replacing the knife in the chopping block. She was clearly shaken down to her core. “I just can’t STAND that new radio host can you? We should never, ever listen to his show again, okay? Never, ever.” she repeated, in an odd voice. “Uncle Cecil?” 

“Uh, oh- uh. Yeah. I, uh, I agree. He is the worst,” Cecil repeated. 

“We is all of us.” Mara repeated. “Carlos too.” 

“Oh- yeah…” Cecil repeated, before starting to cook. “Okay, I’ll… mention it to him?” 

“Doesn’t it make you so jealous, thinking about him listening to that two-bit radio hack?” Mara raised an eyebrow, prompting him. “I mean… isn’t that how he fell in love with you?” 

Cecil flushed, then gaped, and then became angry. “You’re absolutely right. I can’t stand the idea of him listening to Kevin.” Cecil turned back to cooking, and Mara left the kitchen. Cecil reflected on what Mara said and found it all true. He would definitely have to speak to Carlos about this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. :) Much appreciated. Link to my tumblr is [here](http://nerdcaptorari.tumblr.com/). Come talk to me if you want, I like people.


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